The Black Abyss
by rozikov.01
Summary: What do you do when you have nothing and nobody? Rose has lost everything, including her sight, at the hands of those she loves. An outcast and wanted criminal, what will happen when Rose, crippled yet invincible, is forced to face those she once loved in order to save them? And how will she combat the love she begins to feel for a man so similar to Dimitri? Set after Spirit Bound.
1. Chapter 1

Hi Guys!

This is my first fanfic, despite the fact I have been dabbling in writing for years.

VA was a series that really captured me, especially so in that I usually don't read vampire books, so I hope you enjoy this. Everything familiar in this story belongs to Richelle Mead, and everything else is mine.

* * *

**Into the Abyss **

Chapter 1: Darkness

"_It seems you're having some trouble_

_In dealing with these changes_

_Living with these changes_

_The world is a scary place_

_Now that you've woken up the demon in me"_

Down with the Sickness, Disturbed.

I awoke to darkness.

It wasn't a frightening darkness, nor a darkness born of secrecy, but a darkness that was so warm, so inviting that I sighed in happiness.

It was a darkness that I thrived in, a darkness I embraced so fully that it had become a part of me. In the darkness I was innocent instead of guilty, bold instead of weak, great instead of normal.

The strange thing for people to comprehend was that, by becoming blind, I had been given the greatest gift of my life.

The accident- if it can be called that- had occurred shortly after my escape from captivity in Court. Abe, the usual snake he was, had arranged everything perfectly. I was in the car with Dimitri, on my way to freedom, when everything had gone wrong. Granted, around me things usually went wrong, but not quite so wrong.

First had come the call. We had been on the road for nearly one excruciating hour when Dimitri's phone rang. Glancing at it quickly, he flipped it into his large hands and answered. After that though, everything was a blur. Barely had "Belikov" fallen from his lips when something had crashed- hard- into my side of the Civic. Now, I know I was pretty invincible, but even I couldn't walk away uninjured from a crash at such a high speed. In the silence that followed, I had enough sense to reach for the door handle and slide myself from the mangled wreckage, but nothing could have prevented what followed.

They were everywhere. Tens, hundreds, I wasn't sure- my head was throbbing and spinning too much to allow me much thought. I remember feeling a warm liquid sliding down my forehead, and then I gazed into the eyes that would be the last beautiful thing I ever saw.

Dimitri was trapped, horror struck, in the seat of the Civic, but it wasn't him the Strigoi were after. They formed a barrier around me, pulling me and dragging me in equal measure away from everything I knew, away from everything I loved. My blood had them snarling, fanging for the one thing they weren't allowed to have, yet as I was dragged away from Dimitri I mouthed the words which I hadn't known would haunt me until this day.

As my words hit him, he shut down. His beautiful brown eyes, full of concern and pain, simply emptied. It was amazing how three little words could cause such a reaction, but the image that haunted my memories was the way he turned away when I told him I loved him.

The following period of time in my life is one I would forget if I could, except the images were burned into my brain. Weeks of torture, endless agony and darkness followed. I was still unsure what the Strigoi had wanted, but I was aware that amongst them was a woman I once knew, a woman whom had stabbed both of my eyes when I refused to look into her red-rimmed eyes.

Sonya Carp.

In the haze of pain I had come to live in, I discovered my gift. I guess it was a gift of all those like me, but I couldn't be sure. Not only could I speak to ghosts or summon them, but I could become one with the darkness. As a permanent part of my life, I learnt to control it, meld into it and use it in whatever way I wished. That is how I first escaped the clutches of the Strigoi, incidentally. During a particularly horrific moment of torture, my mind had simply exploded. I was scared, frightened and alone, and the spirit had burst from me, summoning an army of undead whom carried me from the place after mauling the Strigoi. You see, these ghosts weren't transparent. They were real, solid and tangible- they were the only people I could trust.

For months now I had been hiding here, in the one place I was familiar. I was back in Saint Petersburg, Russia, hunting by nights and resting by days. Living blind in an unfamiliar world was definitely hard, but over time I had begun to hone my other senses as well as the sixth sense only those whom live in darkness can learn to recognise- my intuition was perhaps the greatest skill I had.

The girl I could hear breathing next to me was the other reason I was still alive today. She told me her name was Ana, and despite the fact I couldn't see her, I trusted her. Ana was taller than me, as I could tell by the number of times we had fought together and the times in those first days she had helped me around. She was also very thin, which could be explained by the knowledge that she had been in the custody of the Strigoi for much longer than I had. When I unleashed the undead, they recognised one living thing in the room and brought her to me. That one living thing was Ana, and she had originally felt indebted to me, which explained why she had stayed. Since then however, our relationship had grown into something so much more. When I grew strong again, Ana stayed by my side, and our friendship had become something so much more than what Lissa and I had; it was forged in blood and pain.

Ana said she was a dhampir, yet I had my doubts. She also told me she was pale, with blonde hair and blue eyes, yet I doubted this too. Intuition told me she wasn't being truthful about who she was, but who was I to judge; she still didn't know anything about me. I knew my body was scarred brutally from my time spent being tortured and Ana told me she, too, was horrifically marred, but I had stopped caring about my beauty the day my sight had been lost to me- there were so many more important things to worry about in this world.

Currently, Ana and I were hunting around a club called Dacha. Crowded and full of sweat, sex and smoke, Dacha was the perfect hunting ground for Strigoi- and also, therefore, the perfect hunting grounds for rogues. As much as I hated that word, that is what Ana and I are now- I am a wanted fugitive and what she has done I'm not sure, but we were shunned, unwelcome and untied.

I was pulled back from my musing by the stirring of the girl in the bed across the room. Despite the perpetual blackness, I knew it was getting dark from the chill descending in the small motel room we were sharing. I smiled, the muscles protesting, unused to the expression gracing my face. I might not have much, but I was alive, and the existence I was leading was the most simple and strangely innocent that I had ever known.

* * *

So, what did you guys think? Please review; I'd love to known what you think of it!


	2. Chapter 2

Wow... Okay, maybe it's just me, because it's 9 o'clock where I am, but having followers and favourites within 5 minutes of posting this story seems pretty crazy. Please keep reading and reviewing, and a big thankyou goes out to you amazing people who have already read, reviewed and followed this story!

* * *

Chapter 2- A Brush with the Past

Ana's cool hands were gentle on my face, softly applying the makeup that I never would be able to again. It did hurt that I wouldn't be able to see my face in the mirror again, or even be able to see the face of another, but I had my life and that was so much more than so many I had known.

"There," Ana whispered in her quiet tone. "Perfect".

I snorted. "Perfect my ass. Who would look twice at a cripple?" I winced as she pulled my left eye open with more force than was necessary, and blinked quickly once the coloured contact was in place. Ana firmly grasped my chin and tilted my head into a position I presumed was looking towards her eyes.

"As long as you stop with the self pity crap, and keep practicing looking at people instead of through them, nobody will ever know." Ana always seemed to get cranky when I lamented what I had lost, which would probably make more sense if I knew what her story was. "Besides, it hasn't stopped the men from flocking to you in droves, has it?"

If there is one thing that hadn't changed about me, it was apparently my looks. Ana was right in saying that men were attracted to me like a moth to a flame. They were all unable to see into the broken part of me, the darkness I was living in. They didn't notice the way I stared past them, not at them, or the way I didn't respond to their body language like normal women would. It didn't help that I couldn't see when a human man was approaching me, or was trying to catch my attention; Strigoi I could sense, but humans were an entirely different story.

As a result, Ana and I had devised a sneaky way of staying in contact with one another. Invisible ear buds and speaker buds that attached under our clothes were our simple, yet ingenious, way of solving my visibility problems. It worked well enough that so far I was able to avoid detection, which was necessary for when I was hunting the bigger fish.

Yet, it wasn't only humans I needed to hide my identity from. It was easy to forget sometimes that I was a wanted criminal, and that guardians were still out there hunting me. There had been several close calls in the past where only Ana's quick thinking had kept me from the clutches of the law. Internally, I cursed my new disability. If only I could get into contact with somebody, anybody, maybe I could get some help for Ana and myself. I knew this was a futile hope though. In the months we had been on the run, not one of my loved ones had bothered to find me, or even worry about me. In fact, the one and only time I had attempted to slip into Lissa's head had been such a catastrophe I had shut her out completely.

_I dived into Lissa's head, needing to feel, needing to see something familiar that I could hold on to. Were they looking for me? Were they worried? Amazingly, delving into Lissa's mind resulted in an explosion of colour. Joyously, I realised that I was seeing through Lissa's eyes, and therefore I could see. Maybe things wouldn't be so bad once I was back with her again?_

_She was lying across her bed, Christian lazily fiddling with her blonde hair. Sitting cross-legged on the floor was Eddie, with Jill, Adrian and Mia also sprawled in various positions throughout the room. The person who surprised me the most though was Dimitri, whom was standing guard in the doorway. My heart ached when I saw him, a new scar lining his left cheek. He looked conflicted, worried, stressed and yet so strong all at once. I longed at that moment to be in his arms more than anything else._

"_So, how long will they allow you to remain my guardian?" Lissa was asking Dimitri quietly. He shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot, eyes darting around the room._

"_As long as we maintain a united front on the Rose story, I should be allowed to keep my position."_

_My attention was drawn to the words, and I listened closely for what would be said next. I noticed Adrian close his eyes and let his head fall back into the wall, and Eddie bury his face in his hands. Yet Lissa continued to look Dimitri in the eyes. _

"_We know the story Dimitri. Rose escaped the prison with the help of Mikhail, who disappeared shortly after. She ran past the rooms on the left wing of court, in which you were being kept guarded. She took down your guards, and when you came out to see what was happening, you caught her running. After attempting to follow her you were hit by another vehicle, accounting for your injuries. With a little bit of compulsion, the story can't actually be disproven, especially as Gale and Daniel were both taken down." Lissa sighed. "Rose deserved what happened, Dimitri. She has run before, it was only a matter of time before it happened again. Nobody will believe that she was taken; the only thing we can do now is make sure you stay safe with us."_

_My heart froze. It couldn't be true. They were offering me up as a scapegoat? What about our years together? What about the number of times I refused to abandon them?_

_Adrian looked up then, and I expected him to say something. Something that would restore my faith in them, or at least something to keep me going._

"_It's like Dimitri said," he whispered. "Love fades."_

I winced again as Ana pulled my hair into a ponytail behind me, her hands now strong and unrelenting. I was glad of the distraction as it ripped me from my thoughts and the familiar ache that accompanied them whenever I thought of that day. They had abandoned me, using me as a scapegoat to save Dimitri. Every day was a struggle for me to survive, yet none of them would ever even know I lived. And the irony was, whilst they believed me dead, the rest of the world believed me alive and on the run. I guess there was no rest for the wicked.

Ana sat me down and handed me my boots in silence. Another small, insignificant detail of my life that I missed was wearing heels, but I couldn't risk fighting or even walking in them when I couldn't see what was in front of me. Guiding them onto my feet, I stood and smoothed my clothes. The shirt was sleeveless and low cut, made from some silky material that clung to my hips. The jeans were skin tight to my ankles, with the boots riding up over my calves. Even though I couldn't see myself, I felt pretty badass. Ana let out a low whistle, like she did every other night I dressed like this. I presumed she was dressed similarly, and was simply trying to boost my confidence. I grunted in reply and took the outstretched hand that I knew was reaching for me.

By eleven, we still hadn't located anything worth hunting. Ana was complaining in my ear about how bored she was, but I barely paid attention to it. The smell of smoke and sweat was overwhelming, with the club music and cries of the inebriated keeping me alert. I knew I was in one of the types of clubs where people crowded in to grind against one another, drunk, until the early hours of the morning, and it just made me more edgy. I didn't know when somebody was going to reach out and grab me, or bump into me and ruin my cover.

A sense of urgency soon stole the breath from my body however, and I tensed, positioning my body defensively. Ana, from her position somewhere across the club, clearly hadn't picked up on any danger, but I knew something wasn't right. I turned slowly, trying to identify the threat, but with my slowed reactions wasn't quick enough.

The hand came out of nowhere, clamping down on my shoulder. Allowing my body to take control, I spun towards my attacker, grabbing the hand and using the leverage to throw the much larger body over my shoulder. Whilst the body was falling, I spun again and quickly pulled my stake from inside my jeans, pressing it flush against their throat. Before anybody around me could react, before even Ana could ask me what was going on, my attacker spoke the last word I wanted to hear.

"Rose?"

I flew out of the club, feeling blindly at the walls until I felt fresh air upon my face. Gasping, I ignored the frantic voice coming from in my ear, intent only on putting as much distance between myself and the man as I could. The man, the man. Who was I kidding? I would recognise Eddie Castile's voice anywhere. I could hear his footsteps following me, and ran faster.

And then, I stopped. Well, I didn't stop exactly. It was more like a tree root or something similar stopped in front of me, causing me to fall heavily into the ground. Having had this happen hundreds of times, I rolled as I hit the ground, still wincing as I felt the rocky ground cut into my shoulder. Great. I didn't have the money for another shirt.

Before I knew it though, he was there in my ear, asking me if I was okay. Knowing there was no way I could outrun him in the dark with no guidance, I slowly picked myself off the ground and turned away from him. I couldn't allow him to learn of my disability; to do would be to show weakness, and I could never show weakness to someone whom hunted me.

"Rose? Rose, my god. I can't believe it. I thought you were dead!" Eddie's voice was disorienting as he danced around me, filled with happiness and confusion. My senses, already overloaded, couldn't take much more, and I clenched my teeth.

"Rose, Rose please. Look at me, please. I need to know it's you, I need to know you're alive. Rose, please, I can't believe it." I dropped to my knees cradling my head. It was all I could do not to unleash my darkness right here, in the middle of a suburban street. I could feel their whispers calling to me, surrounding me with comfort. It would be so easy to let them carry me away into their black abyss, but I knew there was no coming back.

I felt his hand tentatively brush the back of my shoulder as his body knelt next to mind, but I paid it no attention. Right now, my biggest fight was controlling the demons living inside of me. In the back of my mind I could hear Ana furiously berating Eddie as she caught up to us, but her words blended into one another, white noise in my brain. For the first time in months, I felt the panic begin to creep over me. I was defenceless here, at the mercy of another, and the darkness all around me was pressing in, consuming me. I felt myself drowning, being pulled further and further away from myself.

"Rose Hathaway!" Ana's furious French accent cut through my confusion. "Listen to me right now!" Her hands framed my face and yanked my head up towards hers. I couldn't see her and so stared blankly, but heard Eddie inhale sharply next to me.

"Stop this! Stop! You're not the only one out there dealing with this, and you're not a quitter! That's not the Rose I know."

I took her hands from my face and allowed Ana to pull me to my feet. She grumbled about the state of my shirt, but I was more worried about what the man still kneeling next to me meant. Almost as if reading my mind, I heard a growl as Ana grabbed Eddie and from what I could infer, started marching him down the street.

I followed them numbly, my heart, brain, everything frozen, until I heard the words that kick started everything again.

"Rose, can you even see me?"

* * *

What do you think? I need some feedback here.. Moving too quickly or not fast enough? Please review!


	3. Chapter 3

Hey everyone!

So far the reviews for this have been full of so much support that I just have to keep writing. It's awesome, thankyou . After three chapters things might start slowing down with updating, because my uni break has just finished… A double degree is hard enough, but when you add a third language and 30 hour weeks at work into that things start getting crazy. I'll do my best to keep a regular system going though.

Once again, I do not own VA, that's Richelle Mead's. I'm just a lazy bum that is using her world instead of my own.

* * *

Chapter 3- Secrets and Betrayals

"_Oh, I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do_  
_And I've hurt myself by hurting you."__  
_

- Hurt, Christina Aguilera

EDDIE POV

I sat at the small motel table across from Rose, not wanting to look at her. Instead, I studied her guardian, Ana. She was pretty enough, tall and thin with her pale skin, dark hair and dark eyes, but her scars told me she had lived through hell. The left side of her face was marred by a thick line that ran from her hairline to her chin, and her right cheek was separated by a horizontal line that ran from her ear to just below her haunted eyes. Her arms were covered in a variety of past wounds, and despite the fact that I couldn't see the rest of her body under the black outfit she wore, I didn't doubt that her scars continued. She spoke with a French accent, but I also doubted that. She more Russian than French.

I was interrupted by the sound of nails scraping along the wooden table separating us. The motel was small and shabby but habitable and sound echoed in the small space. Rose was running her hands along the surface, almost as if feeling the texture of the wood. Her brown eyes, once so lively, were empty and staring sightlessly at the wall. I opened my mouth to question her, but closed it again. I couldn't find the words. Standing, I shoved my chair back and began pacing the stone floors. I was in a state of utter confusion and despair. I had believed with my whole heart that Rose was dead and gone. Months spent sullying her name to protect Dimitri was pointless in light of the damage done to her. The vibrant, smart- ass Rose Hathaway I had known was long dead. She ran from me now, viewing me as a hunter only. Her wit and humour were gone, replaced with silence and pain. Despite the fact she had refused to answer my questions, I could see in her blank stare, her careful posture and her attentiveness to her surroundings that Rose was in fact blind. I cursed under my breath. How could I live with myself knowing that while we were doing damage control over her death, she had been suffering? How had I convinced myself never to look for her?

Abruptly I was angry. Why had she never let us know she was alive? We could have helped her, given her the support that she needed. Granted, the woman sitting next to her looked like she would have dived off a cliff for Rose, but she didn't know her like we did. I hurled myself back into my chair, feeling Ana's eyes and Rose's attention flit to me. Steeling myself, I looked at Rose, carefully this time.

What I saw shocked me utterly. Rose's beauty was still undeniable, but instead of sexy and inviting she was now dangerous and a mystery. She had lost weight, that much was clear, and her face was more defined and angular. Her dark brown hair danced more with the colour of black, and her skin was tinged with a chalky quality, an underlying paleness that made her appear unearthly and surreal. Her face was also marred with a cut similar to Ana's which covered her right cheek and eye, but it didn't detract from her beauty. More scars covered her body, but it wasn't these which captured my attention. Instead, it was her eyes. They were empty of anything, sightless and emotionless.

I needed answers, and I needed them now.

"Rose," I began, "What happened to you? Dimitri told us you were dead, taken by Strigoi. He told us there was no hope." I heard Ana gasp sharply and narrowed my eyes, filing her reaction away for the future.

Rose scoffed at me and tilted her head in my direction. "Dimitri hasn't exactly been a poster child for his faith in me lately, has he Eddie?" She laughed mirthlessly. "After all, love fades."

I flinched, remembering the day nearly a week after Rose had been taken when I had heard those words uttered, and realisation crashed down upon me in a cold wave. "You tried to see us, didn't you?"

Rose didn't reply, just turned her face away. A cold knot of guilt clawed its way into my heart. If Rose had seen us shifting blame onto her, no wonder she hadn't returned.

"Rose, you have to understand, we thought you were gone!" I was desperate to make her see reason. "We did what we had to do! We had no other choice." The words came uneasily to me, almost as if I was lying, even though I didn't understand why.

"Damn you Edison!" Rose stood abruptly and slammed the heel of her hand into the table, causing it to shudder. "You did what you had to do while I was being tortured? You did what you had to do while I was learning to live in a world I couldn't see whilst being hunted? You did what you had to do when you didn't bother to try and recover my body?" She turned away bitterly. "You abandoned me in the dark, that's the only thing you managed to do. And now, I bet, you'll take what freedom I have left away with you." She fled into the bedroom and slammed the door behind her, leaving me stunned and upset in her wake.

I sat with my head in my hands hours later, trying to reconcile my reasoning with my guilt. The seats shifted on the tattered couch next to me and Ana sat, handing me a warm cup of something that smelt like tea. I accepted it gratefully, glancing at her from the corner of my eyes. She appeared lost in thought, which was a better state than she had been in after hissing profanities at me at Rose's departure. Shifting slightly, she looked up and spoke.

"I know you see Rose as an enigma. She's a wanted criminal and you are a guardian first, but she is also your friend you thought was dead." Her accented voice was quiet enough for Rose, still in the next room, not to hear.

"I wouldn't dream of taking her back to Court against her will, if that's what you're implying!" I hissed indignantly. I was annoyed she would even suggest it.

She relaxed, sagging lower into the seats. "That's something, at least. You wouldn't have been able to, even if you had tried you know?"

"Why?" I asked. "Obviously you are talented, but she's blind and I'm a trained guardian."

"Blind doesn't mean helpless," Ana said softly. "Rose is… deadly. She is able to tap into something, intuition, a sixth sense I don't know, that gives her an edge. She doesn't need sight. She hears and sees everything in her own way, and I haven't seen anybody defeat her since the first week of her blindness."

She shifted closer to me, and I had to fight the urge to edge away. "I have to warn you though, Rose is unstable. She wields an immense power of spirit- how, I do not know- yet she seems to be able to tap into that which is unreal."

I lowered my ear to her mouth in order to hear her. "She sometimes loses control, and every time walks closer to the boundary of death. I've only seen her lose control once, and even though I am grateful that she saved my life, I don't doubt that it pulled her more towards the world of the undead. She sees them, you know." Her eyes drifted, recalling a memory I couldn't follow. "She sees the dead. She can talk to them, touch them, and command them. It is the most frightening thing I have ever seen."

Ana looked up at me then, her face unflinching. "I knew Rose before all of this, even though she doesn't know it yet. I've seen her change from the beautiful woman she was to the haunted shell she is now. And if you do anything to make that worse, what we have suffered will look painless compared to what I will do to you."

Several things clicked into place in my head then. Firstly, this mystery woman had been with Rose through her torture, and if I wore her down enough, she could give me the answers I was looking for. Secondly, she was keeping secrets from Rose. As much as I hated doing it, I could use this to my advantage later.

"What did the Strigoi want from you?" I asked, dodging her words. I was curious; the meticulous planning of Rose's kidnap showed that not only had they wanted something badly, but that there was a traitor on the inside of our circle. The thought made me cringe; I had already lost too many friends.

Ana sighed and folded her arms across her chest. She looked weary in that moment, much older than I knew she was. For the first time I realised that Ana had been through just as much as Rose, and even though her internal scars weren't as apparent, they were still there.

"I honestly don't know," she murmured. "It was all very strange. Again and again, they seemed intent on finding 'the heir.' I thought they meant the princess, but whenever Vasilisa's name was mentioned it made them angrier. I did catch a few snippets of speech in between... in between, however. It centred mostly around finding something that could make them more powerful, provide them with invincibility." She sighed again. "Honestly, it sounded futile to me. I couldn't have made heads or tails of what they meant, but what more can you need when you are already invincible?" It was a good question, and one that made me slightly uneasy.

"Taking Rose makes sense," I slowly said. "She knows the princess better than anyone and also has knowledge of the inner workings of the Court. But," I hesitated. "Why did they have you?"

Ana jumped to her feet, suddenly furious. I wasn't sure what I had said, but obviously I had hit a nerve.

"You go too far." She hissed. Spinning on her heels, Ana began to stalk towards the door. "Oh, and a piece of advice," she said angrily. "The first thing you should do to help make things right is to go and speak to the girl behind that door."

The feelings inside of me were indescribable as I slowly opened the bedroom door. Rose was lying on the bed with her back to me, shoulders gently rising and falling. I felt so much remorse and guilt in that moment that I thought I might explode. I had let down the girl I owed everything to, and nothing I ever did could take that back. I stepped forward and sat on the bed next to her, tentatively reaching out to touch her shoulder. Her muscles contracted but she didn't throw me off, which I took as a good sign.

"Rose." Her name was a whisper. "Rose, I know I can't make up for it, but I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. It won't ever make it better, but I did come to find you. I came when I heard about the Rogue here, the girl that appeared from nowhere. It was such a small hope that nobody else believed in, but I came." Once again, small part of my mind questioned why I hadn't sought her out before, why i believed in her death so easily. I ignored it.

She was frozen beneath me in silence, an impenetrable wall that I couldn't break. I didn't know what else to do and so we sat there in silence, silence that stretched on well beyond Ana coming back and well beyond the noises of the outside world.

When I spoke, it was like the shattering of a glass, a thunderclap in the calm before the storm.

"Rose, I'm leaving tomorrow. I'm not taking you back by force, but before you decide, please hear me out. Lissa, she's not doing great Rose. She's under so much pressure, with a new monarch being chosen and the loss of you, the darkness is consuming her. I know it's a horrid thing to say after what you've suffered, but if you have it in your heart to give us one last chance, please, please come home Rose. We will protect you. Please."

I stood up, feeling foolish. How could we hope to protect somebody whom had lost everything? How could we keep her from the outside world as well as herself? I breathed in deeply. The choice was in her hands now.

Several hours later I stood in front of the small plane at Pulkovo Airport. My breath fogged in front of me as I waited, freezing, for Rose. I knew she wasn't coming, but I couldn't help but cling to my final hope.

I couldn't put it off anymore. I turned, slowly, but was stopped by a sound.

A sound behind me, coming from a hooded figure and a dark haired girl next to her with scars across her face. A sound coming from Ana as she led Rose across the tarmac, whispering instructions.

Rose was coming home.

* * *

So, what do you think? I promise you, I'm not going to be that nice and just allow Rose a happy ending straight up. The story has only just begun, and I'm expecting it to be a long one. The next chapter I plan to really get stuck into the plot development I really want to happen; this has all been leading into it. Please keep reading and reviewing; i'm enjoying going into my own little world and I hope you are too.


	4. Chapter 4

I was definitely not expecting the amazing reaction I am from this story.. it started off as something I was doing to pass the time, but after only three chapters it's turned into something so much more. Thank you to all the amazing people who have read and reviewed; I hope I can keep you interested and will keep updating as soon as I can.

Oh and yes, I know my spelling of words might be a little different, but I'm an Australian; favorite is favourite and so forth here. Just be patient with me; I'm doing the best I can .

Once again, I do not own VA.

* * *

Chapter 4- The End of the Beginning

"_Some things are better off forgotten_

_We bury them in places that we really only visit by ourselves" _

-Imperfect, Stone Sour.

The plane trip was uneventful. Completely, utterly uneventful. Once, I would have filled my hours reading, watching, and entertaining myself. Without sight, all of these things were impossible. And so I sat, listening to the sounds around me as the minutes passed into hours, feeling the shadows around me move and shift with the movement of the plane. I didn't sleep; I slept very little in general. I listened to Eddie's loud snores, and Ana's constant movement next to me. At least the plane was private; the first time I had flown on a charter plane blind I had nearly ripped my hair out in frustration of being trapped and sightless.

I couldn't tell how long the trip took, but after what seemed like an eternity later my ears popped with the pressure of the plane descending. I pulled my hooded cloak tighter around me; arriving in the middle of the day minimised our chances of being noticed and Eddie had pulled some strings, however I couldn't shake the feeling of uneasiness. I wasn't sure why I had agreed to come; maybe, after months of living a pointless existence I needed a change or maybe I was just lonely. I couldn't decide. Regardless, I couldn't turn back now.

My heart thumped in my ears as Ana's small hands led me down the plane stairs and into the cool air Pennsylvanian air. I breathed deeply. It seemed like an eternity since I had been home.

_Home._

The word was laden with emotion and memories. Could I even call the Court my home? I hadn't even lived there for very long; in fact, the only reason it felt like home was because of Lissa. Without her, and Dimitri, where did I belong?

The sun bearing down held barely any heat, but on a hunters schedule I felt my eyelids begin to droop. I pinched myself as I heard the birds chirping around us and felt the wind against my face to remind myself that this was real. Going back to Court could very well end my life, and I had to be on my guard.

The subsequent car trip seemed to take very little time. Ana's hand grew increasingly tight around mine the longer we travelled, and not for the first time I wondered what her secret was. Eddie was quiet in the seat in front of me also; I could feel his breath coming in fast gasps. Huh. He must be as nervous as the rest of us.

Finally, we pulled to a stop. My heartbeat increased as I pulled my cowl around my face tighter. My coat hid my body shape and face, but was hardly going to be enough to save me if somebody looked closer at me. Ana had taken the precaution of dying my hair a dark black the night before we had left, but I doubt even that could have prevented me from being recognised.

"Edison." A single word rang sharply against our silence, causing me to flinch. I recognised the voice- I had heard it yelling my name hundreds of times before in another life.

Alberta was standing somewhere in front of me, and I heaved a mental sigh of relief. I knew she wouldn't betray us.

"Alberta," Eddie said respectfully. "I think it would be better for us to get inside quickly."

I felt the tingling sensation of eyes raking me, studying me. I tensed instinctively; Alberta Petrov was watching me, and I didn't like it. I knew she couldn't see my face, but she knew who I was and that was enough.

"Take the east wing entrance," Alberta instructed. Her voice sounded tense, and I wondered how much going against her duty was costing her. "It will be deserted at this time. From there, go straight to Room 114. They will be waiting for you there."

Without replying, Eddie placed a hand on the small of my back. I appreciated the gesture- he was guiding me without giving away my disability. His warmth comforted my frayed nerves and calmed me, even though I was stepping into a cage that I didn't know how I'd escape from.

"Rose," Ana whispered urgently in my ear as Eddie scouted the halls several minutes later. "Rose, no matter what you hear in there about me, know that I'm sorry. You'll always have me, don't forget that." I spun towards her voice, alarmed. What on Earth was she talking about? Ana was the only person I could trust, and even though I knew nothing about her, the thought of her not being around was almost unbearable. Even I could recognise I couldn't survive alone in this world; she was my only ally. Before I could question her further however, Eddie returned.

"Clear," he told us quietly. "I haven't told the others why I need to meet with them, but they know something's up. Be on your guard," he warned. Taking a steadying breath, I followed his footsteps down the hallway.

The moment the door to Room 114 opened I knew that coming back here was a mistake. Somewhere inside of me I recognised that the emotions inside were all wrong; instead of comfort and support I felt fear and anger along with a dark, black emotion I couldn't place. Yet, I ignored it.

Stupid.

As Eddie led me into the room and the door closed behind us, I felt the urge to run. Something was wrong, something wasn't right. Yet, again, I ignored it.

Idiot.

Silence met us all around. I knew they were all there; Lissa, Christian, Adrian, Dimitri. I could feel their eyes devouring us, trying to find out who we were, what we were doing there. I didn't move a muscle; I couldn't. The moment was broken with a gasp, and I closed my eyes in despair, knowing they surely had figured it out.

"Vika?" It was Dimitri's voice, quiet and trembling. "Vika, is that really you?"

I was confused, upset. Who was he talking about? I was standing here in front of him, the love of his life, and he spoke another woman's name?

"Dimka," Ana whispered next to me. I froze. My brain finally caught up with my heart, and I felt sick to my stomach. Viktoria Belikova. Not Ana, Viktoria. I trembled, my knees going jelly with the weight of her betrayal. For months she had watched me struggle, all the while knowing who I was, all the while viewing my weakness. And now here she stood, next to me, a total stranger all over again, whispering her brother's name.

"Vika," Dimitri repeated, and I felt a whoosh as Ana was swept off her feet next to me. The air whipped around me as I stood frozen, unable to think, unable to breathe.

"Dimka, I thought you were dead!" She cried. I could feel the unshed tears in her tone, but I had no sympathy for her.

"Oh Vika, who did this to you?" Dimitri was concerned and ecstatic; he was with his sister but she was maimed. Just as I thought, I told myself bitterly. At least he could see her face. I didn't even have that luxury anymore.

"Strigoi," she answered, letting her fake French accent fall. God, how could I have been so stupid? "But it's okay Dimka, I was rescued before they could do anything more."

"Whoever helped you escape, I will forever owe them a debt," he whispered, and from the sounds I could hear, he buried his face in her hair.

The door smashed open then, startling me. I hadn't heard footsteps and I tensed, disoriented but defensive. Nobody else seemed to remember I was here and I took a step back closer to the wall as the newcomer surveyed the room.

"Oh Dimka," the voice said, and right then and there I realised that I had to leave. I took another step back as Tasha Ozera walked right past me towards Dimitri. With everyone's attention diverted I stepped back again. How could they not notice me?

"Tasha," Dimitri whispered. "Meet Viktoria."

"Oh," Tasha exclaimed, fawning. "Your sister! She's alive!" I knew she had placed her hand on his back, and Viktoria confirmed it.

"Dimitri," she said slowly. I felt her eyes on me, and knew she still didn't want to give me away. "What about Rose?"

The temperature in the room, if possible, became colder. Everybody seemed at a loss as to what to say, awkwardly waiting for somebody else to speak. It was Lissa, to my surprise, who did.

"Rose is gone," she said decisively. The dark shadow I had felt upon entering the room began to move, growing larger and blacker, stretching its control further. I shuddered.

"Rose is dead and not coming back. We need to move on with our lives." The anxiety in the room lessened, and with a stabbing realisation I knew what the black shadow was. Spirit. Compulsion. Lissa was compelling those around her to forget me, to feel no guilt over leaving me. Of course it didn't affect me- I was blind to her charms.

I had absolutely nothing left. Dimitri had moved on, Lissa was lost and nobody even cared I was gone. I felt Eddie flinch from his position nearby but he didn't say a word. I felt the darkness building in me, the hopelessness overwhelming me. It consumed me while they beckoned, calling me closer, calling me home. I didn't care anymore, I didn't want to care. I turned, feeling for the door, stepping into their arms. The only people I would ever see again, they took my arms and carried me from the room. I heard the cries behind me, Viktoria's voice screaming for me, Eddie running after me. But they were too late; they were all too late.

"Lies," I hissed, my voice unearthly, amplified by the ghostly bodies surrounding me. I saw Mason reaching for me, red hair the only colour in my world, and I reached for the temptation, reached for my death. His arms enclosed me and after months of loneliness I felt at home, cared for. The pull was great; in front of my eyes the world exploded in colour. I could have all this on the other side; I could have my sight and happiness back.

Right when I was about to take the offer, a warm hand pulled me away from them. Flames exploded over my vision, turning to darkness the vividness of my world. I cried out at the loss, struggling as they faded from my view. New arms replaced them, new arms full of fire which were carrying me away from the voices, away from the pain. The last thing I recall was feeling a searing heat which made me scream.

Water.

I awoke with my throat on fire. Gasping, I reached out for anyone, anything. I encountered warm flesh, a person leaning over me.

"Hathaway." I knew that voice too.

"Christian! What the hell are you doing here!"

Several hours later I sat cradling a cup of tea. It was hard to believe that in such a short space of time my entire life had been turned on its head again. I was devastated, lost and disoriented, but my entire outlook on life had changed. Talking to Christian had made me realise my purpose in life, my calling.

"Christian! What the hell are you doing here!"

I felt him twitch next to me at the same time the world trembled. Huh. We must be travelling.

"Rose," he countered, "What the hell are you doing here!"

I sighed. Evidently, it was going to be a long trip.

"I survived," I said simply. "I survived and tried to come home."

I could feel him looking at me, studying me carefully.

"Please explain to me, then, what the hell happened back there?" I could hear the distress in his tone.

"Well.." I began carefully, unsure how to say it. I went with being blunt.

"I'mtechnicallyblindandIhavetousespirittosurvivean-" A hand on my mouth cut me off, giving me time to take a breath.

"Start from the beginning Rose," he demanded. "You're...blind?"

"Well, that's what I said," I grumbled. "Here, look." I reached up until I felt his face, pulling it towards mine. Without contacts my eyes were apparently quite frightening, brown with milky irises.

I heard him gasp and knew my point was made.

"When I was blinded," I continued, "I had no other way to defend myself. There was so much pain, I couldn't see and I knew I was going to die.. It just, exploded Christian. I couldn't control it."

"Control what?" He asked.

"The darkness. Spirit. Them. I can see ghosts Christian, but I can walk with them, talk to them. I can.. manipulate the darkness, use it to fight for me. Even worse, I can feel it inside of me."

He was quiet for a very long time and I lay back, trying to relax. I still didn't know why he was here with me, but I was sure that I would find out sooner or later.

"Rose, I was the one who pulled you from the dark. I... burnt it away from you. It was like an aura, but swallowing you up. You were fading into it and nobody else was acting. I had to do something." He paused, taking a breath. "The months since you have gone have been so hard. Lissa, she's changed so much. She's become... horrible. So secretive, so.. entitled. Nothing I said seemed to make any impact on her. She became so single minded in her desire to control everyone that she left me Rose. I have nothing without her. When I tried convincing her, she compelled me to leave. She's been using compulsion on all of us, and I don't know why!" He took a breath, and then relaunched his tirade. "I don't know her anymore Rose. She fits in perfectly with those other royals; a liar, a cheater, a coward. She's not the girl I fell in love with, and there is nothing left for me with her."

I felt pity for him, and also an extreme amount of anger towards Lissa. Clearly she was allowing spirit to dominate her, but to use it at the expense of those she loved was unforgivable. At the same time however, I was intrigued. Whatever Lissa was doing was beyond my experiences.

"Rose, I rescued you because I have only one purpose left in life. I've finished school now, and I would like to find the Strigoi whom turned my parents and destroy them. I want to learn to fight Rose, to control the fire in me and use it for good. At the moment it still.. overpowers me, as you can probably tell from the way I burnt you earlier. I'm sorry," he said contritely. Ah. That explained the heat. I felt my arms and realised they were wrapped in bandages, more scars added to my body.

"Teach me to fight Rose, and I'll be your guide. I'll teach you to see in the dark if you teach me to kill. Please."

His words took me back to a time in a different world where I wanted Moroi to learn to defend themselves. His words filled me with purpose, with a desire to prove everyone wrong and gain revenge on all of those who had betrayed me. Lissa, Dimitri, Viktoria.. they were all the same.

Yet here I was now with Christian and a golden opportunity before me. Not only could I now show everyone that Moroi could, in fact, be trained, but I had in Christian a way to survive in the dark. It was an opportunity I couldn't miss; an opportunity that could change my life. Together we could be unstoppable, invincible.

I was determined to make it happen.

"Okay," I told him. It was a simple word, a small word, but it was enough to change the course of our lives. I knew he was smiling, and I couldn't help but feel excited for the first time in months.

"Oh, and Christian," I added as an afterthought, "How on Earth did you get us out of Court?"

"That was easy," he replied nonchalantly. "Nobody tried to follow us because the fire was just too hot. I drove us out, and very shortly we will be on our way to England."

I laughed, amused at it all. He made it sound so easy.

"Partners?" I asked him, extending my hand.

"Partners," he replied, grasping it firmly and shaking it once.

The tea was warm in my wounded hands but provided comfort. I could hear Christian's snores to my left, causing a small smile to grace my face. England. I had never been to England before, but I did know one thing. Wherever we were going, wherever Christian was taking me, I would use that place to become deadly once again.

* * *

I know, I know, that was pretty cruel. But hey, I had to do something to bring Rose and Christian together- I always wanted to know how they would work together as a team. Now, Rose has the motivation to live again, so what will she do with Christian? And Viktoria popping up again- I can promise her and Dimitri have a big role to play in this. Review and let me know what you think!


	5. Chapter 5

Hi guys!

Whew, what a week. I haven't stopped; up at 6 every day and finish work at 9.30. I'm finally getting a chance to update again now. I got some pretty good feedback after the last chapter, so I think I'll answer a few questions here.

Firstly, for the purpose of this story, Christian's parents have been turned by another Strigoi, a deviation from the book. Secondly, yes of course there will be a confrontation between all of them eventually, just be patient . Next, yes Dimitri and the rest all figured out in the last chapter it was Rose, because of course Eddie and Viktoria (she has a bigger role in this too) had to open their mouths and scream at her when Rose was all but dying. I plan on really getting the ball rolling this chapter, so sit back, relax, and enjoy!

I don't own VA- I only own this plotline.

* * *

Chapter 5- The Days of Futures Lost

"_The world's a gun and I've been aiming all my life_

_Got something to live for, I know that I won't surrender_

_A warrior of youth."_

Bulletproof, Black Veil Brides

"DUCK!"

I threw my body flat to the ground, the unmistakable sound of flying metal whistling through the air where my head had been mere seconds before. A scream pierced the night, drowned out by the sounds of music, voices and traffic. Leaping to my feet, I turned just in time to kick a Strigoi jumping at me with the heel of my foot, hearing the solid crack as my boot made contact with bone. The crunch filled me with satisfaction as I followed the outlines of the creatures with my eyes, knowing they were undead by the way their life force merely existed in the darkness, a lifeless hole where energy should have been.

I had a second warning to use spirit to form a shield around myself before Christian's fire wrapped me in a warm cocoon, incinerating everything in its path except me. The sounds of the wounded monsters made me cringe, and I used tentacles of spirit to muffle their voices as one by one, Christian and I staked them in the heart.

I would have recognised his shadow anywhere. In the past two years, it had almost become an extension of my own. In my own unique eyesight I saw Christian's life force as a burning beacon of hope shining brightly in the dark, full of sorrow, loss, determination and love in equal measures. Christian had turned from a surly teenager into an amazing, intelligent and ruthless yet gentle man. Even though I wished I was able to see him, just being around him was enough to lift me.

It wasn't just his personality that had changed though. Time and time again I would watch his form fly through the air, his energy burning brightly, and wonder how on Earth I had done so well. Christian was a miracle, living proof that Moroi could not only fight, but could kill. He was deadly; his power over fire combined with his evolved fighting skills leaving him all but unbeatable. I knew he worked hard, much harder than anyone else I had known. He was still lean but muscular, a result of hours spent in the gym. I would wake up in the middle of the day to the warmth of his fire as he learnt to wield it with greater control, and watch him in the night use it to take down his enemies. He could probably take anyone down, anyone except me.

For it wasn't just Christian who had become deadly. In the two years since we had formed our partnership I had become lethal. I saw everything; I learnt to recognise the outlines of energy and whether my adversary was friend or foe. I could read their auras against the darkness and know what they were feeling, if they meant me harm. I knew when somebody was watching me, knew their intentions before they did. The darkness had changed from a disability to a blessing; with my increased awareness, my body adjusted. I was faster, more graceful, silent; a ghost in the wind. I could manipulate the spirit I saw in the world around me for my own benefit, and calling my friends from the underworld was second nature. Christian was worried; he maintained that every time I called them I faded more, but it didn't worry me. I had done what I needed to, and now it was my turn to uphold Christian's end of the bargain.

"Gah," he hissed, kicking the body of a staked Strigoi. "Nothing! How many months have we been doing this for now? And still, nothing!"

London was the last known location of Christian's parents before their demise at Tasha's hands, and so each and every night we hunted, hoping to find any with information regarding the Strigoi we were seeking. In the months we had learned that the name of one Strigoi who might be able to help us- Xavier- but so far hadn't had any luck tracking him down. Question time with Strigoi generally didn't end so well- it started by ambushing them, and usually ended up with them dead.

"We just have to keep trying," I consoled, placing my hand against his strong back. "There's only so many Strigoi in the world."

"Yes," he hissed, "but lately there seems to be more and more of the ones we don't have time to be hunting!" Christian was growing impatient at our lack of progress; whilst I had adjusted myself to the fact it might be many years before we made any leaps forward, he wanted it to be over now.

"Come on," I told him when he had finished staking the monsters. "I'm sure within a few minutes there will be an alchemist lurking. Let's get out of here."

I ran my hands along his smooth muscles, feeling his long body warm against mine. His warm lips, soft and sensitive, lit up my world as he kissed me gently, my hands bunching in his long hair. Placing his mouth against my ear, he whispered my name.

"Roza."

I sat bolt upright in bed, panting heavily. Sweat coated my forehead and I wiped it away in frustration. It had been the same dream over and over now for two years. Two years to the day since Christian had carried me from everything I had known, and yet the past still haunted me.

I reached out for my watch, eager to be up and about. With Christian's support, life had become a lot easier for me to navigate whilst blind. Take my watch for example. It was a neat little contraption that opened up to allow me to feel where the hands were and read the braille bumps with my fingers. Learning braille was yet another opportunity opened up to me by Christian even though it wasn't too difficult to organise; in a nation with over two million suffering from vision loss, braille was a necessity.

6.45pm.

It was still early but I dragged myself out of bed, reaching for my robe. The London winters were ice cold here, and already I could feel that tonight was going to be no exception. I walked silently out of my room and towards into Christian's, listening to the sounds of the city below our apartment. Workers were returning home, going to their loved ones and children with no knowledge of the secret world that existed in their streets at night. They lived in blissful ignorance, kept safe only by us, the ones who protected them from their worst nightmares.

In the past two years, the Strigoi population had rocketed. There was no doubt in my mind that what we had always feared happening was finally coming to fruition; our race was dying out. As more and more caved in to the temptation of immortality, less and less of us remained to fight; the battle was an uphill one, an impossible one.

Yet, London remained ours. Christian and I lived in an upmarket apartment in Westminster, sleeping by day and hunting by night for the information we needed. It was a nice place with several bedrooms and a large fitness room, meaning we didn't need to leave our home to train. I didn't know how much Christian had paid for the place and I didn't want to know, but our location meant that we could trawl the pubs, clubs and alleys of the capital without having to travel too far.

And trawl we did. As I flicked his cheek, listening to his groans as he woke, I reflected upon the past two years. A success was an inadequate word to use for how far we had come. Together, we were invincible. Last night was an example of that. We did everything together; hunting, sleeping, eating. We knew each other's strengths and weaknesses better than our own, and we complemented these. We knew what the other was doing before they did, and had practised our hunting together so often we worked better together than alone.

But, as the dreams signified, the past still held Christian and I back. We had tried putting it behind us over and over, yet every time something seemed to rear its ugly head and remind us. Tasha's incessant attempts to reach Christian for example were one thing we had to dodge, another being the fact that we were still hunted. From the information we had gathered over the years, Jill Mastrano had been found by Dimitri to be the younger sister of Lissa, allowing her to ascend to the throne, yet the murderer of Tatiana was still a mystery. One thing Christian and I both knew was that we couldn't risk falling into the Queen's hands. She was said to be a fair yet harsh ruler, powerful and cold. I knew the knowledge of Lissa hurt Christian, but he never showed weakness.

It wasn't just Christian who was still hung up over the past though. Six months ago, knowledge had trickled to Christian that he now had a cousin. A baby girl was born to Tasha Ozera, and it was easy to figure out who the father was. I still dreamed of him every night, the image of his brown eyes turning away from me haunting me. I wished with all my heart I could move on, love Christian the way Ioved him, but it was impossible. Whilst I cared about Christian more than any other person in the world, I couldn't care for him the way I cared for Dimitri.

"Rose," Christian groaned, pulling his pillow over his head. "Why do you always wake me up so bloody early?"

I sat on him, smiled, and ripped the pillow off his face. He moaned again before I smashed it back down.

"Because," I laughed, "What would I do without our morning spar?"

And with that I fled towards the gym, a very tired and grumpy man following me.

I couldn't believe when after months of searching, we finally found it.

The Strigoi lay at our feet, snarling profanities and promising our death. Neither of us cared though, because we had stumbled upon our holy grail.

It had started as a night like any other, Christian and I stalking our prey, questioning them, then killing them. There was nothing more to it; it was routine. But then, he had arrived. He was a master, very old, and very skilled. The scratch on my cheek stung, and I knew he would leave a scar. I didn't care though. His name was Wyatt and he was a rogue Strigoi, travelling from place to place in search of new victims. Unfortunately, in his travels he had stumbled upon a Strigoi named Xavier, and then stumbled into us.

I almost felt sorry for the thing. What rotten luck.

"I'm giving you one last chance," Christian threatened, the orange aura of fire lighting up the darkness I saw. "Tell us where you met Xavier and we will kill you painlessly."

The Strigoi merely laughed at Christian, amused at his words. "Why should I tell you anything?" He asked smoothly. "You will kill me anyway. I do not fear the fire you wield."

Christian sighed, and I did also. His eyes were on me, beseeching me, silently pleading with me to help him. I hated using spirit in this way, but in this situation I had no choice. I stepped towards the monster slowly, for the first time detecting a primal sense of fear from it. I ignored that, allowing tendrils of blackness to close in on the Strigoi. I knew the following process; first, it would lose its sight, then the pain would begin as the darkness wormed its way towards his heart. By the time he died, he would be begging for death.

I tried to ignore his screams. To me, this was the most cowardly way to fight. I hated doing it, and did my best to concentrate on the warmth of Christian's hand in mine until it was over.

"Pennsylvania," he gasped, before he went silent.

I could feel Christian's coldness next to me, matching my own. Pennsylvania was the one place in the world we were unprepared to hunt for Xavier, unprepared to travel. It would bring us close to Lissa, bring our past back to us. I wasn't sure if we could risk capture, risk being recognised for who and what we were. Yet, inside me I knew we had to. Christian needed to do this for closure; I needed to do this to fulfil our bargain. I knew he wouldn't leave me afterwards, knew we would continue to guard each other until the end. What did I have to lose?

"I guess we're booking a flight to America, hey pyro?"

I felt his gaze settle on me, but I already knew his answer.

"I guess so," he agreed.

It was déjà vu. The same crisp air met my face, the same smells greeting me. I was groggy from the flight, yet Pennsylvania hadn't changed. We certainly had though. Christian locked his hand into mine next to me, showing me the greatest difference between this time and last. I was powerful, invincible, and the man next to me would defend me with his life. He held both of our luggage in his hand, waiting for me to become accustomed to my surroundings. It was all so new; the auras, the smells, the energy flow. I had been here before but never realised what I was missing. He squeezed tightly, supporting me with the small gesture. It comforted me. Here, we would have to be on our guard every move we made. There were eyes everywhere in this state, eyes that were both curious and deadly. As Christian led me into the airport though, I knew one thing.

I was not leaving this place until I had what we had come for.

I was not leaving this place until I had shown the world what Christian could do,

And I was not leaving this place until I had proven my innocence.

* * *

And now we are where we want to be to get some interesting stuff happening. Clearly, Rose and Christian are close. You'd imagine they wouldn't be able to stay under the radar for very long, so what do you think will happen when they are discovered? Is Dimitri really tied to Tasha now, and what's going on with Lissa? I promise a POV from her next chapter, and I'm excited to get stuck into that. Please review; ask questions, give me feedback, keep reading! Thanks for sticking with me all this time as well, I hope to update soon.


	6. Chapter 6

Hi everyone! I'm trying to move this story into some meatier stuff pretty quickly; I think the intro stuff is getting old now. I really want to start developing a plot between the main characters again, and seeing how they interact with each other after all this time. As promised, I've included this chapter from Lissa's POV- I hope you enjoy it. I'll try to update as soon as I can; I'm really enjoying writing this and hope you stay with me through it :).

* * *

Chapter 6- Beginnings and Continuations

"_The world we knew_

_Won't come back_

_The time we've lost_

_Can't get back_

_The life we had_

_Won't be ours again."_

Never Too Late, Three Days Grace

LISSA POV

I slammed the report back onto my desk, throwing my head down into my hands. Blonde strands obscured my vision, hiding my face which had turned a sickly colour. I felt the darkness well up within me and shoved it down, fighting for control of my mind. This was a usual occurrence for me; since Rose had gone, the demons fought for control every single day of my life. Sometimes they won; I still felt sick to my stomach with guilt for the lies I had unwillingly told about Rose, yet justified them with the knowledge that the lies protected me. In my dreams though, I saw Rose allowing herself to be carried away by the terrifying ghostly apparitions.

No matter how hard I tried to bury my past, it always seemed to catch up with me. Whenever I was ready to move forward another coincidence, another reminder was thrown in my face. For two years I had struggled to gain equilibrium in my world, to forget the feeling of Christian's strong arms around me, to forget Rose's secretive smile when she heard the things in my mind I dared not say aloud. Instead, all I had managed to achieve was to forget what happiness feels like. Smiling, laughter, joy… It was all foreign now in my world of politics and pain. Each day I battled not only with my own mind but with the minds of others, trying desperately to retain control over a world that was falling apart around me. Moroi numbers were dwindling, fewer Dhampirs were appearing to replace those lost and panic created chaos everywhere. Sometimes, I caught myself reminiscing upon dreams I once held, friends I once had, and felt the urge of nothingness pull at me just like it had pulled at many before me.

But I, unlike the others around me, didn't have the choice of running from my problems. For better or for worse, the vampire world was looking to me as an example, and I couldn't live with myself if I let them down.

The report felt as if it was burning a hole in the desk in front of me, demanding attention I didn't have to give. With all my other issues, the last thing I needed was yet another reminder of my past. The ache inside me concerning Christian and how we had parted had never fully faded, leaving my heart empty. I blamed myself entirely; I had thrown away the things that meant the most to me in life. His features, sharp and defined, almost exactly matched the images sitting inside the file, taken mere hours from where I currently sat in the Court.

The images, taken by an undercover Guardian, showed two individuals standing over a Strigoi in a Pennsylvanian alleyway. Standing over was probably the incorrect word to use, as torture was closer to what was happening. The male was tall, with a lean, muscular physique and piercing ice blue eyes. In the darkness of the night the rest of his features were dim, but the pale skin and shaggy black hair were both familiar to me. What startled me the most was the intent on the man's face as he stared into the eyes of the creature; his eyes were full of both hatred and intense determination as he gripped it around the throat, fire lacing his fingers.

The woman next to him was more of a stranger to me, even though I recognised her immediately. Dressed in black leather which showcased her lean curves, she appeared very calm and emotionless. Her eyes stared directly into the camera lens as if knowing she was being watched, yet they were completely empty. She had her hand resting on the man's back, touching him as one would touch a close friend or lover. Her hair was loose, flowing down beyond her waist, granting her an ethereal beauty in the moonless night. Darkness seemed to cling to her body yet she didn't appear frightened of it; she almost seemed to welcome it. She belonged in the night; a flighty figure who could kill you as easily as kiss you.

Staring at the two figures broke the small barrier I had managed to erect between my head and my heart, and I clutched the images to my chest as if they were a lifeline. For so long I had been harsh and cruel, trying to cut them from my world by lying about them to myself and those around me, yet here was the proof that they lived. My efforts had been wasted; I had thrown away the things most precious to me for no good reason. But I couldn't show weakness; Rose was still a wanted criminal, and Christian had aided her. I must appear strong to my people and contain them; they were too close for comfort, and their capture would boost the morale of Moroi and Dhampir alike. I took a deep breath, raised my head and hardened my heart. I must be strong. I must be a Queen.

"Dimitri," I called softly, knowing he would hear my voice from the sitting room where he currently was.

"Yes, my Queen?" He asked, appearing in the doorway. Dimitri too had changed in the two years since Rose had disappeared. Always serious, Dimitri was now a harsh and oppressive individual. He never smiled, and never laughed; his sole purpose in life was to protect me. I knew he still blamed himself for forcing Rose to believe he had given up on her because I still blamed myself for the same thing, but it went deeper than that. When I looked into his eyes I saw the pain of losing part of your soul reflected back at me. I saw in his eyes the suffering I went through daily, knowing I had destroyed the one chance I had at happiness. I saw the loss of one so dear it could never be replaced, and I saw the hopelessness that came with knowing you no longer had any purpose in life.

Dimitri had Tasha, but that didn't bring him any joy. We all knew their relationship was a loveless one, one born out of a desire to not be alone in the world. As far as I was aware, Tasha's child did not belong to Dimitri; he certainly never spoke about her in any way which betrayed emotion for the baby. His aura whenever Tasha was around was dark and cloudy; he resented her for not providing him with love, and even though he would never admit it, I knew he resented her for not being Rose.

I took another breath and slid the file towards him slightly. Words didn't have to be spoken; we had spent enough time around one another to understand each other's meanings. He slid over and took the file, a small gasp the only indication I had that he was affected by the images. I knew his eyes would be tracing the words of Guardian Valla, comprehending that Christian and Rose now appeared to be Rogues, yet his finger still rested on the picture, cradling it gently.

After what seemed an eternity later, his brown eyes finally bored into mine.

"What will you have me do, Vasilisa?" He asked. He only called me by my name when he was emotional or distressed, something I picked up immediately.

"We can't send the guard after them," I mused. I had already decided that we needed to bring Christian and Rose to the Court; the question was, if they were as dangerous as Valla had perceived, how? "They will either kill them or run; something that won't help us."

"I agree," He said. "Valla says Christian has mastery over his element as well as incredible combat skills; we can only assume that Rose was his teacher, which makes her even more of a threat."

"Yes," I nodded. "But what was always Rose's weakness?" I delved into my knowledge of the girl I had once known, not the deadly woman she had become.

"She would do anything for someone she loved," Dimitri whispered. I looked up at him but he was staring away, eyes downcast. His aura was dark blue, miserable and futile. Not for the first time I wondered if there were things haunting Dimitri's head that I didn't know about, but I wasn't willing to pry. If he wanted me to know, he would tell me.

"You're right." I agreed, an idea forming in my head. It was a stupid, irrational idea, but anything short of something extreme was bound to fail. "Christian was the same; he would easily have killed an enemy, but defended those he loved with his life."

There was silence as we both contemplated the thought in our minds, knowing we would have to use their weaknesses but unwilling to do so.

"We need to send the people they care about most to them," he finally said. I shuddered; this was going to cause another rift between the ones I cared for. Eddie had never spoken of his time with Rose; he remained close lipped and unmovable. I couldn't blame him for feeling that way, as she had returned to us and we had broken her all over again. Mia and Adrian, despite both moving on with their lives, still resented Dimitri and I for our lies regarding Rose, and Viktoria, no matter how hard Dimitri prodded her, refused to give up her secrets. As a result, I knew any attempt to use them to capture Rose was possibly going to ruin my relationship with them, but they could not refuse their Queen. For that is ultimately what I was, their Queen, and I had to do what is best for my people.

"I'll go," Dimitri suddenly declared. I glanced at him, taken aback. I knew that we would have to send Eddie and Viktoria at least, but I hadn't been expecting my own guardian, the one whom had sworn to protect me with his life, to decide to leave.

"No, you won't." I told him forcefully. I couldn't trust another person like I could Dimitri.

"Your Majesty, with all due respect, firstly, there isn't another Guardian capable of putting up a fight with those two if it came to it," he countered, brown eyes sparkling. "And secondly, do you really think I'm going to let you go without me?"

I froze, not moving as he quietly left the room, informing me he was going to pack. Until he had said the words, I wasn't even aware of my own intentions. It would take me a couple of hours at most to reach Emporium, the tiny town where the images had been taken, and if Dimitri and I were fast we could reach there by sunrise. It was a ridiculous idea, an outlandish one, but by catching the Rogues by surprise, we might be able to take them.

The Rogues. I scoffed at myself. Already, Rose and Christian were becoming inhuman to me. I saw them as adversaries, people I had to catch, criminals. That way, they were easier for me to justify hunting, easier for me to justify attacking yet again. But I couldn't allow myself to think of them as mere criminals, I scolded. I needed to remember that they were mortal, were emotional, and did have weaknesses. I needed to keep their figurative humanity in mind whilst still seeing them as a target, not a friend.

I was up in a bound, a backpack in my hands before I knew what I was doing. Not giving myself time to think it through, I stuffed a change of clothes and a stake into my bag. I didn't plan to be gone long; if this trip didn't work, we would return and try again with more planning. I saw this as a scouting mission of sorts, yet a feeling of trepidation hung over my shoulders. I knew I was safe with Dimitri, but still, I had to be wary.

In what seemed like the space of a breath later we were speeding along Emporium Road, nearing the small town. The night was cloudy, the moon obscured, and for some reason this seemed like a bad omen. Dimitri was in the seat next to me driving, edgy and tense. When we had departed he had been reluctant to follow through with the trip for my safety, but it had taken very little convincing for him to change his mind. Now, with the darkness all around us, a shiver of anxiety slithered down my spine. Dimitri was trained for these situations and lived and breathed them, but I was not. The obsidian black surrounding us put the first fear I had felt so far into my heart, but we couldn't turn back now, not when the stakes were so high. We really had no plan for if we did run into Rose and Christian; we really didn't expect to. But I knew Dimitri needed to learn the area for when we returned, and I too was too curious for my own good.

Lost in my thoughts, I didn't notice when we pulled up outside a small building with _Prospect Motel _ written across a sign. It was old fashioned in design, cosy but small. The white panelling was dim in the night, but it appeared homey. Dimitri was there in a flash, opening my door for me, and I stepped out, making a beeline for the door.

His hand shot out and grasped my arm, causing me to jump.

"No," he whispered in my ear, his much larger body pressing into mine. "Too obvious. Let's see if there's a back entrance."

Neither of us noticed the eyes watching us from both inside the motel and outside.

It was only when we were out of sight from the street that I felt the prickling sensation of being watched. I turned to Dimitri, trying to locate him in the dark, when it happened.

Cold, unyielding hands grabbed me from the dark and pulled at me. I tried to scream, but a hand was over my mouth, suffocating me. Choking and sobbing I was yanked relentlessly towards the trees, my muffled yelling begging for Dimitri. I could hear him struggling somewhere to my left, but as a rough cloth was pulled over my eyes I knew it was over. In our haste, we had stupidly stumbled into our deaths. I felt something warm cut my eye above the brow, felt a warm trickle slide down my face and putrid breath against my neck, and I squeezed my eyes shut, praying for a fast end.

And then, I was flying. My head hit something hard and it left me dizzy and disoriented, unable to reach up to my face to pull away my blindfold. I could hear the sound of fighting and felt a strange heat permeate my body, and the last thing I felt before I slid into the terrifying abyss was cool hands lift me.

"Dickheads!"

The cursing woke me from my slumber and I rolled onto my side, wincing as my head throbbed at the movement. I opened my eyes slowly, taking in the scene before me.

A man was standing with his back to me, a tall and slender man with pale skin and inky hair. He was pacing the open space in which I was lying, his long legs carrying him from wall to wall in several steps. The room itself was only faintly lit and appeared slightly ramshackle; a far cry from the luxury I had left behind at the Court. The bed I was lying across was in fact a sofa bed of sorts, pushed against the back wall to create space. It was coarse, but not uncomfortable.

Turning my head to the right, I could see Dimitri. His large frame was folded into a small chair, his head resting against the wall. Blood trickled from a split lip which he held a wet cloth to and his wrist was bandaged. Satisfied he wasn't seriously harmed, I turned my head to the final person in the room.

She was sitting cross legged on the floor across the room, as far away as she could be. Her long brown hair obscured my sight of her and she was silent as a mouse. I tentatively probed her aura and instantly recoiled, more terrified than I had ever been in my life. She was so full of darkness, so full of spirit that she frightened me beyond anything. She could end all of our lives without batting an eyelid; have us carried into the underworld without even looking up. She looked at me then as if sensing my fear, her brown eyes marred by a milky white iris. I knew then that she could see into me, see into my very soul, and I curled my legs towards my chest in protection.

Whilst I had been studying her, the male had turned towards me. With a piercing stab in my heart, I recognised Christian's handsome features; ice blue eyes, chiselled cheekbones and shaggy black hair. He had grown into himself in the years since I had seen him; he was taller, more muscular, and his features were sharper. His eyes though showed me that he was a stranger. They were filled with hardship and determination, pain and longevity; Christian was a deadly hunter and the attraction I felt for him would be fatal.

"Why on Earth would you actually come here?" He was asking me, his deep voice filled with incredulity. "I mean, we knew you would eventually send somebody, but to actually risk your lives to come to a town infested with Strigoi?" He was furious and shocked in equal measures. "You're damn lucky Rose had us watching. If not, you'd be dead by now!"

I stiffened at her name, and saw Dimitri flinch out of the corner of my eye. The girl across the room gave no indication she had heard Christian however, just slowly rose to her feet, graceful as a swan. Ignoring me, she walked to Christian and grabbed his hand, pulling him away from me. For a moment I was overcome by jealousy, but quickly realised that she had probably saved me yet again.

Flames were licking around Christian's fingers, the smell of burning traversing the air. I cringed away from him and Dimitri was instantly in front of me, protecting me, as Rose entwined her fingers with Christian's. She seemed to emit an obsidian black, and then the flames were gone, Christian left breathing harshly. He gave her shoulder a squeeze and turned towards us, no emotion in his eyes.

"See that door to the left?" He didn't bother waiting for a reply. "Down there you'll find a quest bedroom and bathroom. It's yours; but if you try anything I'll march you straight back to the Strigoi and they can have you. Understood?" I nodded shakily and he turned on his heel, putting his arm around Rose's shoulders and guiding her from the room. Her frame was small beneath his arm, and yet again I felt jealousy rear its ugly head inside me.

Dimitri relaxed his posture and reached down to lift me. Despite my protests, he carried me down the hallway and into the room, only relaxing when the door was firmly locked behind us. The room was small; it contained two single beds, a lamp, and a single chest of drawers. The ensuite was connected through a door in the corner of the room and I made a beeline for it, noticing as I did that my backpack was placed neatly near the door.

That one kind gesture broke me and I fell onto the bed, tears streaming down my face. What had I done to them? What had life done to Christian and Rose, to turn them into such strangers? Dimitri sat on the bed next to me and rubbed my shoulder. I knew he was just as upset as I was, even if he didn't show it. He allowed me to sob until my cries became hiccups, and then spoke.

"She's blind," he stated.

"What?"

"Rose. She can't see us. She's blind."

I was gobsmacked. "How can you tell?" I demanded.

"Her eyes are empty," he replied. "When she fights, she uses her body, not her vision. She relies on the things around her to guide her, and Christian leads her around. Haven't you seen how protective he is of her?"

His words had me thinking long into the day, when the sun climbed the sky. I couldn't pinpoint the moment my motives changed, but I stopped thinking like a monarch and started thinking like a person. I couldn't live with myself if I caused more pain to two people whom had clearly lost so much and saved my life. I decided that instead of capturing Christian and Rose, I was going to try and help them.

* * *

Hmmm... so the question is now, with Dimitri and Lissa on their backs, how will Rose and Christian react? Don't think I'm going to make it an instant reunion; I'd be absolutely furious if it were me. And now Lissa is changing her mind, but remember how bitchy she was before? Please keep reviewing and reading; I'm so grateful for all the people who do so each update!


	7. Chapter 7

Hi guys! Sorry it's been a while since I updated this; things have been a little crazy in my life. Putting that aside, here is the next chapter. I've worked on trying to get this out for tonight, so now I'm going to go for a sleep I think. If there's any major mistakes please let me know- I'm pretty exhausted at this moment .

I do not own VA, only this particular version of it.

* * *

Chapter 7- Choices

"_I'll be the one to protect you from_

_Your enemies and all your demons_

_I'll be the one to protect you from_

_A will to survive and a voice of reason"_

Pet, A Perfect Circle

I breathed in the crisp, cool air of the night. I couldn't see the stars, but sometimes I liked to imagine them, sparkling little lights in the sky. There were many things I missed, and being able to see the moon and stars was one of them.

I took another deep breath, allowing the fresh smells to calm me. On the outside I was collected; as calm as a lake on a windless night. Inside however, I was full of turmoil. I felt broken and full of white hot rage at the same time; having Dimitri and the Queen so close to me, having them at my mercy, was almost more than I could bear. I knew when we planted the pictures on a drunk, undercover guardian that eventually they would surface on Lissa's desk, but their audacity at believing they could capture me was astounding. I was unsure what their next move would be, given I had saved both their asses, but I knew I had to remain wary.

The emotions that I had picked up from Dimitri and Lissa confused me greatly. From Lissa I felt determination and fear but something else as well, something that didn't entirely belong to her. It was an almost inhuman desire to control, something that lay latent within her mind that she was unaware of. I vowed to discover what it was, recognising it as important. Dimitri though, was even more of an enigma. I had never sensed so much inner turmoil within a person, ranging from anger and guilt to fear and tenderness. I wish I could have seen his face; I knew he was perceptive enough to pick up on my lack of sight, and wanted to know how he would react to it. In my own way, I wanted Dimitri to suffer the most. I had been betrayed by him the hardest, left to die alone by him, ripped apart and lied about by him. I loved him but also hated him, wanted to hold him but also strangle him. I wasn't sure what I was going to do with him in particular, but I wasn't going to forgive either of them.

I wasn't sure how long I sat there, eyes closed, listening to the rustling of the trees around me. It had been a long time since Christian and I hadn't hunted at night, and I felt disgruntled, blaming it on Lissa- she was the spoilt one who slept in for so long. I was so occupied with my thoughts that I almost missed the quiet footsteps treading towards me.

Almost, but not quite.

I already knew who was approaching me of course, but it didn't stop me from removing my stake from my waist and laying it across my knees. My distrust would be very clear, the fact that I viewed him as an enemy obvious. I didn't want there to be any misunderstandings; I wanted nothing to do with Dimitri, and would trust him as much as I trusted a Strigoi.

He sat down quietly next to me, his large body filling my darkness with energy. I could see the outline of his aura in the gloom; he was threatening but not frightening to me anymore. His warmth radiated towards me and I tensed, the sensation not welcome.

"I won't try to hurt you," he told me, his voice a loud buzz in the otherwise silent atmosphere.

I contemplated his words for a moment, and scoffed. What an idiot.

"I would like to see you try," I informed him scornfully. "You're nowhere near the scariest thing I've come across."

He was quiet again and I slowly relaxed, not willing to allow him to destroy my peace. Christian and I had bought the cabin in the Elk Forest for its tranquillity as well as seclusion. We couldn't risk a stray human coming across us any more than we could risk a Strigoi stumbling onto us; the cabin was a perfect choice.

My eyes were still closed but I felt him shift slightly next to me. I could sit still for hours on end; it served as a reminder of how the student was now the master. I could hear every move Dimitri made, and could anticipate his future ones. In a fight he would be pummelled, and I think he was beginning to realise that.

"What's the worst bit?" He eventually asked softly.

"The worst bit?" I inquired.

"About being blind."

So I was right. He had noticed.

"Not being able to see the faces of the people I love," I told him truthfully, knowing my words would make him feel guilty. "But the worst part has passed."

"What was the worst part?"

I opened my eyes and turned my head towards his, hearing his gasp as he looked into my injured eyes for the first time.

"Surviving on my own," I told him, venom seeping into my voice. I stood up in one fluid motion, fuming, and left him on the front porch.

"Eddie, I promise you, I'm completely safe. Tell the Council I've gone to do research or something silly; I don't care. But I need more time here, okay? I need-"

Lissa cut off her phone call as I approached, her whispered conversation halting. If she thought she fooled me for a second she was stupid, but I ignored her and walked towards the kitchen where I could hear the sounds of clanging- sounds that only Christian could be making.

He had his back turned to me, his body positioned staring towards the window. I could tell he hadn't slept very well by his body's energy; he was exhausted. Sidling up to him, I wrapped my arms around his slender waist and rested my head against the back of his neck.

"Morning," I told him, silently using spirit to rejuvenate him. He wasn't fooled, turning me and placing his arms around me gently.

"Morning," his chest rumbled, and I smiled, content. I knew Lissa was watching us but at that moment I didn't care; all that mattered in the world was Christian. Not for the first time I wished I could love him; he was perfect in every single way, except the way that mattered.

The Queen cleared her voice behind us and stormed into the room. Christian didn't let me go, just lazily turned me in his arms so that I was facing her, radiating smugness. I had to grin; the shy introvert she knew no longer existed.

"Guardian Belikov and I will be returning to the Court now." She told us haughtily. I smothered a frown; her tone irked me. "So if you will, I need the keys to our car. Thank you for aiding us last night, but we no longer require assistance." Dimitri had moved into the cabin next to her, but I didn't care; I wasn't her subject, and she certainly wasn't going to treat me like I was inferior.

"Actually," I informed her loftily, "You're not going anywhere."

"Excuse me!" Her voice was demanding and authoritative. "Holding me captive is treason, not that you aren't already a criminal though. I demand that you hand over our keys at once, or I will have the entire Royal Guard here within hours!" Lissa had raised her voice, outrage present. It did little to move me but; I had just figured out my use for her.

Extracting myself gently from Christian's arms, I lazily flicked my arm. Dark tendrils shot from the movement, flying towards Lissa who screamed. They weren't going to harm her however; in a second, both Lissa and Dimitri's phones were in my hands.

"What are your terms?" Dimitri's voice was rough with anxiety as he realised I wasn't joking.

"Christian and I are hunting a Strigoi," I told him. "He goes by the name of Xavier. I need her to help me lure him."

"I'm not BAIT!" Lissa cried at the same time Dimitri roared "NO!"

"No?" I asked innocently.

"No!" He cried again. "Xavier is a master! He is deadly, one of the ancients. Even Galina wouldn't go near the beast!"

I heard Christian laugh and knew I had succeeded. Finally, information we could use.

"We heard rumours he was here in Pennsylvania," I said. "Is there any truth to this?"

Dimitri froze suddenly, going still as stone.

"Pennsylvania?" He asked shakily. "Here?"

"Yes?" I prodded. "That's what I said?"

"He can't be here. There is no reason he would be here!" Dimitri sounded afraid, and that more than anything made me realise we were on to something serious.

"Why wouldn't he come here?" I asked Dimitri. Lissa had quieted next to him.

"Too much exposure," he muttered. "Too obvious. He wouldn't be here unless he wanted something badly."

Suddenly, he threw himself forward and grasped my shoulders, shaking my frame. "What else have you heard?" He yelled. "Tell me!"

_CRACK._

Dimitri had flown across the room and in the blink of an eye, had hit the cabin wall- hard. His groans were full of pain and I almost caught myself rushing towards him. I held myself back though, as Christian proceeded to hit him in the face.

"Don't you ever touch her," he growled. "Don't you ever touch her again; understand?"

"Christian!" I had him by the elbow, pulling him away. "I can take care of myself!" I shoved him back against the wall as Dimitri moaned again. Stalking forward, I knelt down in front of him, framing my hands threateningly on either side of the wall.

"What more aren't you telling me?" I demanded.

I felt his eyes move to my face, and heard him take a deep breath.

"When I was Strigoi," he began, "there were mutterings. Mutterings that there was _'one'_ who could make them invincible- one person whom could turn the Strigoi from monsters into… more." He was struggling for words. "Nathan talked about such a person as being able to give Strigoi not only immortality, but unrivalled powers. I admit, when I first heard the story I was taken by it." He huffed. "But I dismissed it. It was impossible. If Xavier is really here now, there would be only one reason for it." I felt the tingling sensation of his eyes on my face. "He truly believes this individual exists, and he will do anything he can to find them."

I mulled over his words, thinking quickly in my head. If Xavier was here searching for somebody, the only thing we could do to maintain leverage was to find them first. We had to get more information on the person the Strigoi were seeking; we had to make sure he never touched them.

"A week," I finally said. "You will give us a week. She," I pointed at Lissa, "Will help us find information on what they want. Who knows, it might even benefit you both, and we can find Xavier." I smiled crookedly. "A week and you can leave. We will never bother you again, you can pretend we never existed. But," my tone turned steely. "Try to hunt us again, try to track us, try to command us, and I certainly won't be quite as lenient."

It felt good, knowing they had to follow what I wished. Even Dimitri, all high and mighty, couldn't hope to match my power.

"Fine." Lissa spoke first, her voice wavering. "I give you my word we will stay the week. But I need our phones back. And I need your word that you won't harm us." I knew her words were directed at Christian, and laughed.

"Trust me your majesty," I told her mockingly. "You have nothing to fear."

Hours later, after the Queen and her lapdog had retired to their bedroom for a 'nap', I sat down quietly next to Christian on the porch. He had been sullen and silent since the altercation with Dimitri, and had stormed out here shortly after. I think I knew the reason why; I felt Christian's emotions as a swirling mass of confusion and frustration. Placing my hand in his, I closed my eyes, the warmth of his fingers warming mine in the chilly air.

"It's okay to still love her, you know," I told him softly. The words felt strange coming from my mouth; they mirrored the exact opposite thing I had been trying to convince myself.

He scoffed, moving his fingers from mine abruptly. "I don't love her," he told me grumpily.

"Yes, you do." He was silent. "Sometimes, the years can't always erase what once was."

He laughed bitterly. "So, I bet you liked Dimitri grabbing you tonight huh? I bet you wanted him to grab you and take you, just like he takes Tasha."

I didn't say a word to Christian. I didn't have to. I stood up and walked back inside, slamming the door behind me. I made a beeline straight for my room, where I curled myself into a small ball on my bed. Christian's words cut me; they cut me in ways nobody else's words could. I didn't care what anyone else thought of me except him, and to hear him voice such horrible things brought the gut-wrenching agony I shoved away at being abandoned by everybody I loved back to the surface.

I had never cried since the night Christian had rescued me from the court; I was always stronger than that, stronger than that weakness. But now I did, and every single time I'd shoved back the sadness burst forth like a dam breaking. I buried my head into my pillow, my cries wracking my body as I tried to remain quiet. Evidently it hadn't worked though, because barely five minutes later the door creaked open gently.

"Rose?" His voice was full of regret and remorse, his tone gentle. I felt him lie down next to me and then slide his arms around my waist as he rested his head on my back.

We lay like that for ages, me crying into the pillow as he comforted me. At some stage I rolled over and buried my face in his shirt; shortly after that my sobs began to quiet.

"You know, on the day I was taken by Strigoi something happened," I whispered, my eyes closed. "On that day, his eyes were all I saw. I looked at him and told him I loved him, and he looked away from me. He looked away, and now I'll never see his eyes again."

Christian's arms grew tighter around me, his breath warming my neck. As I slowly calmed, he breathed into my ear.

"I'm sorry," he told me sincerely. "That was totally out of line and uncalled for. I didn't mean it. I hate having them here is all. I hate how she's become so cold and superior; and most of all, I hate that I still want her."

I smiled into his shirt, my breathing even. "I know exactly how you feel," I said.

CRASH

Christian and I both jumped off the bed, reaching for our stakes as the bedroom door smashed open into the wall. We tensed, prepared for a fight, but relaxed when we both realised it was only Lissa, her aura exuding fear and anger. I opened my mouth to speak, but she beat me to it.

"We have to go back!" She yelled, Dimitri on her heels. "We have to get back to the Court now!"

"Whoa," I told her, wiping the tear tracks from my eyes. "Why the rush?"

"It's Jill!" She all but screamed. "Jill's been attacked! We have to get back!"

Well, this changed things slightly. The wheels in my head began to turn fast, and I knew Christian was thinking just as quickly. If we took them back, which would be the safest option for them, we would have to show our faces in Court. We would be wanted, outcast, and hated. There would probably be attempts not only on our lives, but our emotions too. We would have to be around everybody we left behind, yet we would be closer to the events, be closer to finding Xavier.

At the same time, if we let them go alone, we could continue our hunt. They would never be able to catch us, and we wouldn't have to go through any emotional turmoil at coming face to face with people we once loved. Yet, this course of action might put us back months, even years, at finding Xavier. Being in the Court would grant us instant access to every single major event, and that we could use to our advantage.

I knew Christian, and knew he would be thinking the exact same thing as me. I also knew that he would support me in any decision I made however, and knew that this decision was mine. I took a deep breath, knowing my answer.

"We're coming with you," I told them simply. "One, you need the protection." My empty eyes flicked towards Dimitri's, and I felt embarrassment emanate from him. "And two, we have come too far to lose Xavier now. Trust me; we want the Strigoi dead just as much as you do. For now, our skills can benefit one another." I smiled sneakily, my mouth quirking up. "Just don't try to arrest us and everything will work out perfectly."

I could tell she was thinking my words over at the same time as I felt Christian's energy shift. He supported my decision but was also nervous; he didn't want to go back to Court.

"Okay." She rolled the words around her mouth, which I knew was pressed into a tight line. "Take us back, and I will grant you clemency on the grounds that you saved my life. But step out of place just once, and I can't promise to hold back the guardians." She took a step closer to me, and I felt her hand extend in the air. "Deal?"

Ignoring the anxious feeling that welled up inside of me whenever I thought of my past, I resolutely shook her hand.

"Deal."

"I'm just worried Rose," Christian said softly. It was daylight, the safest time to travel, and Dimitri and Lissa were asleep in the back seat. Christian drove next to me, one lanky hand resting on the steering wheel and the other grasping mine. "I'm just worried what this will mean for you. They all left you for dead; how will you deal with them? And having to be around Tasha?" Christian spat her name; the years had made him just as fond of her as I was. "How can you do that? Hearing about her and Dimitri's family every day?"

I gripped his fingers at that, pressing my eyelids together forcefully. I knew Dimitri and Tasha had a child, but to have the proof thrown into my face would hurt- a lot. Everything about going back would hurt; I hadn't seen Eddie or Viktoria again, and my Mother would probably have a lot to say about my return. None of that mattered though, in light of what was at stake. I could feel how close we were to Xavier, to finding the vampire whom had destroyed Christian's world. I had to do this for him; it was the only thing I lived for.

"I've lived through worse," I told him sincerely, patting his hand. How simple it would be if I could love him. "And I doubt we will be there for long; all this stuff with Jill will provide a perfect distraction for the Strigoi to pounce upon."

"You're probably right," he agreed, "but it doesn't mean we are any safer within the walls of society than we are fighting the monsters. We will have to stick together and stay alert."

I smiled, jokingly fist-bumping Christian. "You got it pyro," I joked as we sped forward into the lion's den.

* * *

So, what do you think? Next Chapter I plan on giving Christian a turn at telling the story, followed by Dimitri I think. I also promise some long-awaited confrontations, as well as some interesting interactions between everyone. Please, stick with me and keep reading and reviewing; I hope you are enjoying this as much as I am!


	8. Chapter 8

Hi guys! I'm so sorry about the slow update; not only have I been super busy, but I managed to break my ankle at a party learning to dance. They say you're meant to have fun when you're young, but I definitely don't agree with that right now. I also had a nasty Trojan on my laptop that took days to remove, but that's all sorted now. Regardless, this is keeping me occupied now that I can't move or exercise for four weeks minimum, so I'll do my best to update again soon.

I do not own VA, you know the drill. Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 8- Welcome Home.

"_So what if you can see the darkest side of me?_

_No one will ever change this animal I have become_

_Help me believe it's not the real me_

_Somebody help me tame this animal I have become."_

- Animal I Have Become, Three Days Grace

Christian POV

As I drove through the magnificent entrance, the last thing I was thinking about was how grand the palace was. I had once thought this place would be my home, had once thought I would live here with Lissa and grow old and happy. Of course, none of that would occur now. Queen Vasilisa was far too superior to deign to give me any attention at all, which should have suited me just fine. Except, my problem was that it didn't. I still wanted to gain her approval, still wanted her to want me, and it made me hate myself. I shouldn't still love her, and I definitely shouldn't still need her attention. I had Rose, and she was all I needed in the world.

I quickly glanced over at Rose, feeling concern as I took her in. Not many things bothered her; she had been through far too much to be upset by trivial things. My words several hours ago had shattered the mask she put on for the world, and with her defences down I wondered how she would take being reunited with the people whom had torn her world apart. She was staring sightlessly from the window, her beautiful mahogany hair lying still against the car seat. She was pale, which was the first sign I had that she was anxious. The second was the small sweat that had broken out on her brow, and then there was the strength she was gripping my hand with. I knew Rose better than anyone else, and knew she wasn't as cold and hard inside as she made out to be. She was such a kind, caring soul that I knew sooner or later she would be worn down, which was something I couldn't allow. My lips pressed into a tight line as I considered it. I knew she still cared deeply for Belikov, and as much as it made me angry, I knew she couldn't change that. Yet, I had to do everything in my power to keep her from his clutches. He would make her open her heart and break it again, beyond repair this time. I wasn't stupid; I knew the only reason Rose was still living was for me, and I didn't want anything to push her deeper into depression.

The Queen- I refused to think of her by her nickname- had made some calls before we had left Emporium, and sure enough, as I drove slowly along the winding road leading towards the castle, I could see them. I knew Rose could too by the way she had stilled, her hand going to her stake. They lined the trees, watching us from the shadows, waiting. Guardians, countless numbers of them awaited us, and it took all of my willpower not to turn the car around and drive out of there. Next to me, Rose began to hiss. She ripped the seatbelt from her waist and turned to face Vasilisa, whom had a nervous look on her face.

"So much for trust," she hissed viciously in her face. "I can't believe I once called you a friend."

Vasilisa flinched, but Rose had already swung herself into the back, settling between our two charges. She pulled out her stake and placed it across her toned legs, ignoring the sharp intake of breath that came from Belikov.

"Anyone so much as threatens us," she continued in a conversational tone, "anyone so much as comes within a foot of us, you die."

"Don't make threats you can't keep," Belikov told her, his deep voice condescending. Once again, I had to fight the urge to throttle the man.

"Can't I?" Rose whispered seductively, running her stake along his neck lovingly, leaving a trail of blood in her wake.

I could see the signs, but I wasn't sure what I could do to stop it, or even if I wanted to. When I had first rescued Rose from the Court, she was animalistic in nature- brutal, merciless and fighting only for survival. I saw the signs of the huntress reappearing, but I knew that she would be safer this way. This Rose was inhuman, deadly and vicious, and would never allow anybody- maybe not even myself- to get close to her.

"Rose," I murmured soothingly, reaching behind me to clasp her leg. She was shaking with adrenaline and anger, a ball of pent up emotion and frustration. I pressed the brakes gently until the car rolled to a stop outside the marble stairs, guardians lining the entrance. The Queen threw herself from the car almost immediately, and Dimitri was quick to follow; Rose and I, however, remained where we were. Her chest heaved, and her beautiful exotic face was flushed. Her eyes darted around quickly despite the fact she could see nothing, and I knew she must be experiencing sensory overload. She needed help but didn't want to appear weak, so I decided to take action.

I opened the car door to silence, slowly stepping out. Taking a deep breath, I placed my hands on my hips and surveyed everyone, emotionless. I recognised most of the individuals here, even recognised a tense-looking Eddie move in to quickly cover Vasilisa. Many of them looked shocked, and I knew I was the reason for it. The two years had been good to me; I was taller, stronger, and more confident. I wore the careless look of a hunter, of one who lived one day to the next in a constant state of war. I looked dangerous to these people, I realised, and I liked it.

In the stillness, my footsteps were the only things heard as I stepped around the body of the vehicle. There was muffled sound of the door opening as I placed my hand inside to help Rose, making her appear both superior and important with the gesture. I saw a small smile grace her lovely face before she threw her head back and stepped from the seat, her long limbs stretching in the sun. She knew as well as I did these guardians would be uncomfortable and tired in the sun, and she also knew that having trained in the glare of it, she could defeat every single one of them. She linked her arm through mine and surveyed everyone haughtily, and if I hadn't have known she was blind I would never have guessed. She was more magnificent than anyone or anything here, and every single person was glued to her. Rose was beautiful, clad entirely in black which melded to her graceful, muscular body. Her hair blew back in the wind showing her for what she was; a hunter, a predator, a stalking lion in a herd of deer. She was lovely in her coldness, an ice queen, a woman men dreamed of taming but knew they would die if they tried.

"Do I live up to your expectations?" She asked harshly, her high voice lowered. "Do you still want my blood?"

Many of the guardians looked away awkwardly, but one had the nerve to stride forward. As she lowered her hood I recognised Janine Hathaway instantly, her red hair gleaming in the sunlight.

"Rose!" She cried, both emotional and full of anger. "My daughter, how-"

She was cut off suddenly by tendrils of darkness that forced her to a stop. There were cries of fear and outrage over the action, and I smiled grimly.

"Do not call me that." Rose told her simply. "I am no daughter of yours."

The tendrils forced her back into the ranks of the guardians, despite her struggles, where Dimitri caught her and held her. He recognised that Rose was losing control fast, and was trying to prevent the situation from going further. Well, at least he wasn't stupid.

"Enough." The authoritative voice of the Queen rang out over the assembled party, immediately bringing the attention back to her. "These are our guests, guests that saved my life, and they will be treated as such."

"But My Lady, she's a murderer!" Somebody cried from the back, before they could be hushed.

Vasilisa's green eyes flashed dangerously as she drew herself up.

"These hunters saved my life," the Queen said quietly. "If anyone lays a hand on them or harms either of them in any way, their own lives will be forfeit. Am I understood?" Without waiting for a reply, she turned on her heels and danced up the stairs, a hoard of guardians following her, including Belikov. Thank god.

"Rose," a female voice came from my left, and I turned towards it to see its owner. Rose didn't move a muscle, and I shortly realised why.

The young woman standing next to Rose was about her height, with long brown hair and brown eyes. Her face was marred with scars, and she wore the signature black of a guardian. I recognised her almost immediately; she was Viktoria, Belikov's sister, the one person Rose had never opened up to me about. I knew she had been close to Rose when she had been blinded, but had lied about her identity, leaving Rose with even more heartbreak. I didn't know how deep their bond went, but sometimes at night I would hear Rose calling for Ana's name in her sleep.

"Viktoria, correct?" I asked when Rose didn't respond. My voice was gruff and I knew I came across as being unfriendly, but right now I didn't care.

"Vika, yes." She replied, her eyes darting to mine. They were determined and strong, and I felt a grudging respect for the girl. It must run in the family. "I'm to show you to your rooms," she added.

"Lead the way," I told her, aware that Rose was growing edgier by the second. All of these people around her were messing with her mind, so I placed my arm around her, pulling her closer to my own body.

I could feel the eyes of everybody following us as we made our way into the Court. Entering the monolithic palace felt like walking into a trap; in here, unlike in the wild, we couldn't use our fists to fight our battles for us. Rose was as tense as a brick, and knowing her the way I did, I knew she would never sleep in this state.

"Actually, Viktoria," I told her suddenly, pulling Rose and I to a halt. "Take us to the gym."

Ten minutes later the huntress stood across from me, murder in her eyes. We were alone down here; the rest of the guard had either retired to bed or gathered to hear the Queen's tale. Viktoria had left us with directions to our rooms, departing with a wistful look at Rose but not making a move towards her. She must know Rose well to know this mood; even I was fearful of it.

"Come on," I told her, my eyes intent on her body. "I know it's in you; let it out."

When Rose became so angry, so explosive, the darkness in her controlled her. I could see it reflected in her eyes; an overwhelming rage so strong it overcame everything else.

"Fight me!" I yelled at her, making the first lunge towards her. Despite the rage, she still held on to the reason that kept her from harming me. "Fight!" I screamed.

And then she was on me, a flurry of arms and legs. I couldn't match her speed and accuracy; she knew the moves I was going to make as soon as I did. For every block she had another blow coming, for every blow I directed towards her she had a block and counter in place. As I kicked her in the stomach she howled, finally releasing the darkness inside of her. It flowed down her arms and legs, caressing her like a lover. She flew at me, and I grabbed her around the waist and tackled her to the ground, curling into a ball as she leapt atop me and began to rain blows upon my chest and torso. I laughed at the exhilaration, not noticing the audience that had begun to gather in the doorway.

I leapt at her and pulled her under me, dodging a flying kick at my head. She released an explosive breath and kicked my legs out from under me, grabbing my arms and swinging me into the floor. My breath huffed out of me as once again I jumped to my feet, using my advantage of height and weight to throw her across the room. She laughed manically, and we continued our dance in a flurry of punches and kicks, dancing around one another so delicately that nobody would know the lethality of our moves.

Eventually, as always happened, Rose ended up on top of me with her hands around my throat. The dark rage had passed, and a small smile turned up the corners of her mouth. I started chuckling and circled her waist with my arms, lifting her with me as I rose to my feet. It was only then, my harsh breathing permeating the silence of the room, that I realised many had gathered to watch us roll around. Vasilisa was there, dark shadows under her eyes, with Belikov staring at us with open longing next to her. Even Adrian Ivashkov leaned against the wall, his face pale and eyes haunted. He opened his mouth to speak, but was cut off by the high squeal of another.

"Christian!" Rose was thrown from my arms as my Aunt Tasha launched herself at me, familiar black hair flying into my face. Two years ago I would have been overjoyed to see my aunt, but in that time I knew she had changed. Even now, I knew she was hugging me for attention as well as to spite Rose, instead of hugging me because I was family and she missed me. She was a perfect example of how the Court could corrupt people, and I despised the individual she had become.

"Get off me," I told her icily, shoving her away as I reached for Rose, whom had been shunted to the ground. Silence surrounded us, as guardians and Moroi alike held their breath. They knew as well as I did that an explosion was about to occur.

"But Christian," Natasha pouted. She had gained weight since I had seen her last, not enough to give her the amazing, effortless curves that Rose had, but enough to fill out her slim figure. Her blue eyes were as ice-blue as I remembered, but they no longer held warmth. Her hair was cut shorter than I had ever seen it, and I wondered if the cause for that stood next to me with her mahogany hair flowing to her waist.

"Natasha, I told you to get off of me." She still had her hands around my waist, even as I pulled Rose to her feet, and I roughly tore her off of me.

"Christian, I am a mother now," she told me slyly, sneaking a glance at Rose whose face was expressionless. A collective gasp could audibly be heard. "And you have a cousin. Be careful about how you handle me."

I snorted, my patience gone now that she had tried to get under Rose's skin.

"Tasha, I couldn't give two shits about who you are or what kid you have. For two years you tried to have me tracked down and returned to you, two years in which you didn't care about my feelings, only what you wanted. And," I continued, my voice rising. "And you tried to pull me away from the only person who meant anything to me in that time. Don't think I don't know Tasha," I spat at her. "You hate Rose. You couldn't stand the fact that not only Belikov wanted her more, but I did too. Well, I've had enough. Leave us alone," I yelled, looking directly into her eyes where I saw no remorse or sadness, just blind hatred.

I grabbed Rose's hand and dragged her from the room, the crowd parting for us. I saw from the corner of my eye Belikov, his face contorted, reach for Rose, but she hissed at him and he let his arm drop. We all but ran from the gym down the hallways, finally reaching our room in the guest quarters and slamming the door behind us. Sinking to the ground, I buried my head in my hands and began to laugh harder than I had in my life.

Tears were running down my cheeks by the time my mirth had evaporated, and I studied the rooms to locate Rose. They were spacious and luxurious compared to our past accommodations, with a sitting room, bathroom and two bedrooms visible from the entrance. The furniture was expensive, the décor extravagant and I felt uncomfortable with the opulence. I really had changed, I thought to myself.

Rose was in the first bedroom, rifling through the small bag that she had brought with her. She pulled out a carved silver stake, laying it on the bed next to her. The stake, instead of her neck, was carved with her kills to not give away her prowess in battle. Feeling a rush of affection for her, I walked up behind her and placed my arms on her shoulders.

"What a day, hmm?" I mused, pulling her onto the bed with me. She sighed, her sightless brown eyes turning to mine, and I felt her relax against me.

"You could say that," she agreed, all signs of her earlier madness gone.

"Rose?" Her eyes opened again, something she did instinctively when somebody was talking to her. It was a respect thing; those she cared for, she gave her attention when they were speaking.

"Yes?" She asked when I didn't elaborate.

"The darkness, how much stronger is it becoming?" My voice was gentle and soothing. I knew she had been struggling with the rage and depression for a while, but being back here had to be making it worse.

"I can't control it anymore," she finally admitted to me after a pause. "It takes over me, and I'm just so angry at all of them that I want to destroy somebody. I don't sleep without nightmares, I can't see the world, because they never trusted me, they never looked for me. And that's not something I can forgive. But what's worse is knowing they've all moved on with their lives, but I never can because of what they've done." She paused. "Chris, I wanted to throttle Tasha when she ran at you today. Not only because she's with Dimitri and taken the man I love, but because I thought she was coming for you. I can't lose you Christian," she told me, grasping my shirt. "You keep the animal I have become from taking over me."

We lay on the bed until her breath evened out and she fell asleep curled against my chest, my hands gently stroking her back. I felt so much for this woman that my chest was full; I vowed then and there to do my best to keep her from harm, and to protect her as much as I could. I had thought my purpose in life had been to hunt down Xavier and avenge my family, but it was so much more. She had the potential to change everything; look at how she had trained me. I had to keep her safe, and give her the time she needed to make the changes that were so very necessary in our world.

* * *

It's only 3 o'clock in the afternoon here, so I'm going to get started straight away on the next chapter. We still haven't seen a real fight between Rose and her old friends; what do you think will trigger it? Please keep reviewing and keep enjoying; this is the only thing that is going to keep me sane for a few weeks I think, so give me a hand? Cheers everyone, and thanks for the support!


	9. Chapter 9

Hi everyone! So, here we are again, yet another chapter down. Thank you so much for all my new reviews and followers; it's starting to come along now and pieces are starting to fall into place! I tell you, trying to work and go to uni with a broken ankle is actually pretty tough going and exhausting, but I'll try my best to update again soon. Enjoy! Oh and PS, there are some spoliers for Bloodlines in this chapter, but not anything for Silver Shadows- I've read it but wouldn't ruin it for anybody.

I do not own VA, you know the usual.

* * *

"Close your eyes, so many days go by.

Easy to find what's wrong, harder to find what's right."

-Dance with the Devil, Breaking Benjamin

Chapter 9- Regression

As the days passed us by, I grew more and more tense. And the tenser I became, the more the darkness inside of me threatened to be unleashed.

It was hard for me, walking through the Court, pretending everything was normal. People- Moroi and Dhampir alike, stared at me as though I was a monster, which I found slightly amusing- they had no idea how close to the truth they were. Christian had a slightly easier time conforming to society than me as he wasn't seen as a murderer, and slowly he was drifting from me as I sought to escape the confines of the palace.

My days had fallen into an easy routine of waking, training, leaving the Court to hunt and patrol the area and sleeping again. Christian and I kept our eyes and ears peeled for any strange occurrences, but so far we had been unlucky. We avoided people whenever we could by being active when the Court was asleep, but even still we couldn't avoid every confrontation. For example, three days ago I had been accosted by a Moroi whom claimed I was going to murder the Queen in her sleep. He had tried to stab me and even though I disarmed him easily, it took every ounce of self-control I possessed to not run after him and rip his heart out as he was dragged away. Christian was concerned; I saw it in his eyes whenever he looked at me, but as he assimilated to our environment he grew further and further away from me; blending into a world I hated.

I had taken to waking up before him and training alone; something I hadn't done in the years since Chris had been with me. I wanted to ask him if he still wanted to hunt Xavier, wanted to ask him if he planned on leaving me for the world he had grown up in, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I knew my own paranoia played a big role in the perceived distance between us, but I couldn't shake the reminder that whenever I heard him laughing with another Moroi, he had never laughed that way with me.

And now, as I sat alone during the sunrise in the banquet hall, I felt the one person coming towards me that I didn't want to see. More than ever, I saw her as a threat- someone who was trying to take the one person I cared for away from me, someone whom had abandoned me and ruined my life after I had given everything to her. Lissa was tired, emitting an aura of exhaustion and frustration. Her energy levels were low and slow, and I figured she had tried to sleep and failed. It shocked me a little, as in the time I had been at Court she had never appeared to show any weakness.

"Mind if I sit here?" She had stopped next to me, the only person in the room, and plonked herself down before I could protest. Her voice was weary, and I knew something must be bothering her.

"Sure," I muttered under my breath, shifting away from her. I half rose from the bench, my uneaten cereal left in front of me when a cold hand touched my arm, causing me to flinch.

"Please, Rose." Her voice was soft and resigned. "Please talk to me."

"Why would I want to talk to you?" I hissed back, kicking the table. "You took everything from me; why the fuck would I want anything to do with you?" My voice was rising as my fury raised its head.

"You have to understand Rose," she pleaded, "I thought you were dead! I was doing what I had to do to protect myself!"

"Hah!" I spat, leaping to my feet to face her. Even though I couldn't see her, right now it felt as if I could see into her wretched soul. "You never did put anyone else before yourself, did you Liss? You never did care who got caught in your path, as long as you came out on top!" My breathing was ragged. "Even after I gave you everything, you still took more. Dimitri, my reputation, even my life if you could have!"

"Rose," she said softly, as if I would pity her. "You can't blame me for those things. You chose to sully your own reputation and let others believe you could have killed Tatiana, not me. Dimitri chose not to be with you, not me. And risking your life has always been something you have done, not me!"

I froze, my heart thumping in my chest.

"What, did you just say to me?" I whispered through clenched teeth. "Did you just imply that I risk my life for my own pleasure?"

"I didn't mean it that way," she tried to defend, but by then it was too late.

The only thing that kept me from murdering her on the spot was the fact that she was the queen, and the thought of Christian. His disappointment would kill me on its own, and so without conscious thought I ran from the Queen, ignoring her cries behind me. All I saw, all I sensed, was red. I was so completely and utterly furious that I couldn't see straight, couldn't feel, couldn't think. Spirit gave me wings, propelling me down the hallways at inhuman speed. I ran and ran, finally reaching our rooms. If I had have known what I would find, I would never had have returned. If I had my senses, I could have realised what awaited me and have had a bit of warning. Yet, I didn't, and so did what I had done so many times before and flung the door to Christian's room open.

On top of him was a Moroi girl, slender, wrapped in lust. He was no different although his senses were dulled with what I presumed was alcohol. His lips whispered into her ear, and he held her as tenderly in his arms as he held me. They were clearly busy, and I fell to my knees, utterly defeated, utterly betrayed. It had been an agreement we formed at the beginning of our partnership; we would never bring any partners back to our joint residence, as not only did it compromise our own safety, it was unfair. I had never had sexual partners to bring back but I knew Christian had; it had never bothered me until now. Until I realised this stranger was in our rooms, our safe zone, I had fully trusted Christian, but flinging myself to my feet and slamming the door behind me, I realised that trust was gone. I grabbed the duffel bag I always kept packed and ran from the room, a whirlwind of anger, pain and hatred. I didn't know where I was going but I ran; ran and kept running until I tripped and fell to my knees once more.

My chest heaving and hurt, I didn't realise I had ventured from the grounds of the Court until the overwhelming nausea of a Strigoi nearby roused me. It was close- I knew that as I slowly turned to survey my surroundings, looking for the tell-tale lack of energy that signalled a Strigoi. It struck me how very strange it was that a Strigoi was still out at this time of day, even under the cover of trees. Spirit was strong within me, and it didn't take very long for me to find the creature lurking in the trees to my left. I smiled grimly and pulled my stake from my belt, sinking into a crouch. My mind was clear, as clear as water. I was a hunter, and as I descended more into the animal and left behind my pain, I found I couldn't remember what kept me sane anymore.

The creature snarled at me when it realised I had located it and launched itself through the air, but I was faster. By the time it reached where I had been standing a second before I was on it, spirit pouring from my body to immobilise it. The Strigoi screamed and snarled, but I was unrelenting, crushing the life from it mercilessly.

"Wait," it managed to choke before I could destroy it, and I paused.

"What?" I whispered seductively in its ear. Its fangs no longer worried me; I held all the power.

"You seek my master," it whispered, and I tightened my hold around its throat.

"Xavier?" I asked it roughly, shaking it.

"Yes," it hissed, struggling. It was female; very strong but also young. "He seeks you."

"Why?" I growled.

"You're the key," It informed me. "He tried spirit users already, but they didn't work." I was surprised; this was the first indication that the attack which had nearly killed Jill Mastrano had been orchestrated by Strigoi. "She was too weak and would have died if not for the blonde one." Adrian? Lissa had been keeping me in the dark all this time, I thought darkly.

"So why me?" I snarled at her.

"You have strong spirit," she growled. "You will not die. You will give us what we need."

"What is it I can give?" I screamed at her, shaking her. "Tell me!" It was then she launched herself at me and in my surprise she managed to stab me in the stomach. I winced, feeling blood begin to flow from the wound. It wasn't fatal, but would weaken me.

I finished the battle quickly after that, angry now. No matter what I tried, the female would give me no more information. Eventually I used spirit to quench her life force, decapitating her as she was strangled.

I screamed then, the animalistic cry of somebody who had nothing left. I was lost and alone in a strange place, with no friends and no help. Nobody cared where I was; nobody cared if I died. The darkness exploded, knocking the breath out of me and rattling the world around me. It was then that I realised in a world of spirit, I could see. When the environment was black, I saw colour; the greens of the trees, the blue of the sky, the beautiful colours of the world that I was missing. All too soon it was over, however, and I sank to my knees again, the hands of those whom belonged in the underworld reaching for me. I recognised one of them, knowing I could see these figures no matter what. His arms held me in his and he protected me from the clutches of the others.

"Rose," Mason whispered, his voice rough and scratchy. "I can't hold them for long Rose; you can't let them take you yet."

"Why?" I pleaded with him, struggling. "Let me die."

"You have a purpose to fulfil Rose," he told me as he began to fade. "I want to see you again, so fight them."

It was so hard, with their caresses soothing me, to resist their charm. I wanted to sink into the abyss, to forget every single aspect of this life and fade into nothing. I wanted to die, wanted to pretend that nobody would mourn me and I was leaving nothing behind. But Mason's words stuck in my head and I held onto myself and my sanity, waiting for what seemed like hours for them to leave. Finally, I gained control of the spirit, forcing myself away from the cold arms. Immediately I felt a sense of loss; I was more at home with the dead than the living. I sat on the ground, alone now, and buried my head in my arms. I couldn't bring myself to move; I didn't feel there was anything left to move for.

And then, the moon was rising above the trees. I was bloodied, wounded and tired, and I knew I had to move from the night before more of the creatures surfaced and I was weakened even more. Hauling myself to my feet, I began to follow the faint aura left in the forest by my wild dash through the woods hours before. I hadn't realised how fatigued I was, nor how much blood I had lost or how far I had travelled, and by the time I staggered through the gates of the Court I was stumbling from exhaustion.

I heard cries announce my presence, and a strong arm wrapped itself around my waist- an arm I hadn't felt around me in years.

"Come on Hathaway," Eddie murmured in my ear as he supported my weak body up the stairs. The use of spirit combined with a lack of rest had me almost catatonic. "You're a mess- let's get you to bed."

"No." I was lucid enough to know there was something important I had to do first. "You need to take me to the Queen now."

"But Rose," Eddie protested, and I was too tired to pull away from him. "That can wait. You're a wreck!"

"No, it can't," I told him, using my last reserves of dark energy to hold him fast. "I need to see Vasilisa. Now."

It was a sign of how tired I was that not only did I allow Eddie to support me into the throne room, but that I allowed him to escort me in. I could hear the hushed voices of Moroi around me and knew Lissa must be holding a meeting she wanted kept secret, but a hush soon fell. I knew the cause of it; curiosity and fear burnt brightly in the energy spheres of all the bodies here. I didn't care; instead, I raised my voice as loud as I could.

"Everyone out. Now."

It wasn't a question, it was a demand. My tone was so harsh that everyone scrambled from the room without the Queen having to utter a single word, leaving me battered before her. I refused to concede weakness, raising my head defiantly to stare at where I knew her eyes were.

"I know Dimitri is in here," I informed her loftily. His presence was hidden in the room next door, patiently concealed waiting for any trouble. "And I know Viktoria is as well. You might as well both come out."

I waited until I knew they could see me, their gasps of breath as they took in my appearance ringing in my ears.

"I know who attacked Jill," I told the Queen abruptly, not bothering with any explanation.

All three inhaled sharply.

"Who?" Vasilisa demanded, rising to her feet. "Rose, who? We have been searching everywhere and still have no clues!"

"That's because you're looking in the wrong places," I told her brusquely.

"Then whe-" Lissa began, but was interrupted by Viktoria.

"Strigoi," she murmured in realisation, obviously finally linking my appearance to my words. "Strigoi were the ones who were behind the attack."

"Yes," I confirmed, ignoring their murmurs. "They wanted Jill to make them stronger. Xavier is behind it. They need spirit to do something- but I haven't yet figured out what." I didn't mention the fact that their attentions had now turned to me; they didn't need to know.

"Damn," Lissa cursed incredulously. "Strigoi. Who would have thought."

"Xavier," Dimitri growled. "We have to watch ourselves."

"But we can't just sit here," Viktoria argued with him. "He killed a princess! He must be-" she fell short suddenly, her eyes flying to mine.

There. It was said. Jill had been killed in the Strigoi attack, and brought back by Adrian, I assumed. I began to laugh, slowly and mockingly.

"Of course," I said bitterly. "Of course you still refuse to tell me what's going on around here. How are you meant to help me find Xavier like this?" I was furious, but also strangely disappointed.

"It wasn't something we really wanted getting out," Lissa replied, sneering. She had turned from worried girl to cold monarch in a split second. Before I could even open my mouth to reply however, Eddie, whom was still standing next to me, whispered into my ear.

"Let's go Rose," he said, and pulled me around before either of the three could say another word.

I was dead on my feet, angry and injured when we left the throne room, and when I noticed Christian's presence blocking my path it was the final straw. I pulled myself from Eddie and stalked past Christian, ignoring him as he tried to reach out and grab me.

"Rose," he pleaded. His aura was bleak; he was exhausted and remorseful. But remorse wasn't going to be enough to forgive him for bringing somebody into our sanctuary. Nobody had known which rooms were ours; we made sure never to allow anybody to see us entering and leaving. Yet, now somebody did and our location was compromised. I wouldn't be returning to our rooms.

"Rose," he tried again, reaching for me. I jerked my arm out of the way.

"Fuck off," I hissed, allowing all of the venom in me to seep into my tone. Without waiting for a response, ignoring the crowd beginning to mill around us, I staggered away.

"Leave her." I knew Eddie had stopped Christian from following me, but I couldn't bring myself to care.

I walked for what seemed like miles and miles, trying to find a quiet place to rest. As time passed, more and more Moroi and Dhampirs stared at me like I was some kind of freak. I probably looked it, so I ignored them. Eventually I came across a room on one of the upper levels that displayed no signs of having inhabitants or energy traces within, so I uncaringly used a tendril of spirit to pick the lock. I flung myself inside and slammed the door, locking it behind me. I reached behind me for my bag, but then realised with despair that I must have lost it fighting the Strigoi- it was no longer on my back.

I didn't even make it to the bed, instead collapsing next to the door. I knew I was bleeding still but I was so utterly exhausted and emotionally drained that I didn't have the strength to seek out medical aid. My head spun with the revelations of the day; I was hunted by one of the deadliest Strigoi on the planet, Adrian and Jill were bound, and Christian was lost to me. For the first time in my life I didn't have a plan. For the first time, I didn't know what to do. I closed my eyes and sank into the exhaustion, allowing it to carry me away from the conscious world as I bled into the plush carpet of the Court with nobody to save me.

* * *

Whew! Sorry about the delay with that one, I live on my own and when my internet goes down it takes me forever to fix it (I'm a bit of a technological retard). Anyway, what do you think? I am getting Rose into a vulnerable position by the way, but finally some news of Xavier! What would you like to happen next chapter? Should Rose forgive Christian? Do you think she loves him just a little? She won't be miserable forever; please review and let me know what you think!


	10. Chapter 10

Hi everyone!

Whew, what a crazy week. For me anyway, Im a bit of a bunnyhead and ended up in hospital after nearly chopping my finger off at work. Guess it hasn't been a good couple of weeks haha, but its over now.

Anyhow, typing with one hand has made things hard but here is the next chapter. I know it's a little implausible, but I know what I would do for the ones I love. I also think it will mix things up a little.

Anyhow, enjoy! I do not own VA.

* * *

"Cause you're drowning in the water

And I tried to grab your hand

And I left my heart open

But you didn't understand"

-Scars, Papa Roach

Chapter 10- Discovery

DIMITRI POV

Three days. It had been three days since my world had been turned upside down yet again. It seemed selfish to say so, but I honestly wished Rose had never reappeared. I had just began to finally go more than an hour without reminiscing of her when she had appeared in those photos, snatching my heart into her hands without even realising it. It had been three days since she had staggered into the Queen's rooms bloodied and wounded on Edison's shoulder, weak but proud. She took my breath away then, making me fall in love with her all over again. With her messy hair and torn clothing she had been a lioness, commanding attention and refusing to back down. I felt terrible for allowing the Queen to treat her in the manner she did but the reality was that Rose Hathaway was no longer welcome in the Court; something that tore me up inside.

Yet it had been three days since she had given us the biggest breakthrough we had received in relation to Jill, and nobody had seen her since. A few Moroi had reported seeing a wounded female wandering the hallways in the west wing, but that had been the last sighting of her. Ozera was going mad with worry; I was unsure what had caused Rose to shun him but suspected it had something to do with the blonde Mirabel Conta whom had slept with half the Court and had been eyeing Christian off for several days. He had been methodically making his way through all the rooms in Court, but the reality was that there were thousands of places Rose could be; with the slow bleeding in her stomach, she didn't have days left if she hadn't sought help.

And that is why I was here now, against all of my own principles, standing in front of a woman who was known by reputable sources as a 'witch.' I had been sent here by Eddie; he had been reluctant to help me, but recognised as much as I did that if Rose was going to live, something drastic had to happen. He had sent me to her to help find Rose; I didn't know how he knew of her, but I wasn't willing to question him. I used the term witch loosely- the woman was human and quite small at that, with a mane of frizzy red hair and a stereotypical black cat at her feet. I wouldn't usually put much credence in witchcraft but I didn't see any other choices available to me; I still loved Rose, and the only way we would be able to find her before it was too late would be with the aid of another, especially if Rose didn't want to be found. I couldn't explain to myself why I still cared, except for the fact that some inextricable part of me knew Rose couldn't die.

"A Dhampir hmm? It isn't very often we get your sorts in these woods." The woman who went by the name of Kaley startled me when she spoke, her voice rich and vibrant. "What can I do for you today? A love spell? Something to help in a battle?" She danced around me as she spoke, her body a ball of energy. "That's the usual kind of requests I get, but if you've come all the way from the Court to see me, you must need something important." Kaley's home was situated in Greensburg, hours from the palace.

"Actually," I told her, still uncomfortable, "I need to find someone. She's in danger."

"Oh!" Kaley paused in her twirling, staring at me. "Scrying. Who are you scrying?"

"That doesn't matter," I told her impatiently. "I need to find her- and fast."

"Name, name, a name matters!" She screeched at me. I flinched away, her intensity beginning to scare me. "And I need something from said girl to use- I can't well work with nothing now, can I?"

Wordlessly, I passed her a hair tie of Rose's I had kept for years. It was one of the only things I had to remember her by, and I had kept it even when I believed her dead. Kaley took it from me and spun towards a map, incanting briefly under her breath.

"No name, no name, where are you?" she began to mutter, concentrating intensely on the band in her hand. Several seconds passed before she let out a gasp and fell back against the wall, closing her eyes.

"Well?" I growled at her.

"Your Court is well protected," she informed me. "But I managed to get that she is in pain and on the brink of death. She is located in the west side towards the upper levels, but I couldn't get you an exact location. I am sorry."

Before she had even finished speaking I had flung my large body towards the door, but her next words brought me up short.

"She reads auras yes? Recognises you? Hates you? Why would she not kill you if she does not trust you?" Kaley asked slyly. I cursed- the woman had learnt too much in her short investigation.

"That's none of your concern," I told her rudely.

"How will you get close enough to help her," she sang, beginning to skip again. The woman was crazy.

"FINE!" I yelled, spinning towards her. "What can you give me to let me help her?"

"Ahhh," she sighed, coming up to me. I flinched away from her as she placed a hand on my cheek. "So handsome. Here."

She rummaged in one of her kitchen cupboards before handing me a small metal ring. It was unassuming and plain, and I scoffed at it.

"A ring?" I laughed. "What will a ring do?"

"Uh uh," she scolded me. "Not just any ring. It will change your aura's signature and change your appearance- you will be unrecognisable. Powerful magic that. No extra charge- but you will bring the girl to me one day, yes?" She asked me, her green eyes boring in to mine.

"Why are you giving this to me?" I asked her, ignoring her request. Rose would never accompany me anywhere.

"I've been waiting for a long time to give this ring away," she informed me loftily. "Don't let the girl die- she is special. I don't know why- but I know she will be important."

"I won't" I promised, doubting the ring's capabilities. "Thank you."

I didn't wait any longer for a response, instead fleeing from the house and flinging myself into my car. It was in drive and I was speeding away before I let out my breath, sliding the ring on to my finger with trepidation. I didn't even know why I was hurrying so much for Rose- I was in a relationship and had built a life without her- but maybe it was guilt for how she had suffered that led me to want to save her now. Guilt, and the fact that I had never really stopped loving her, even if I had destroyed her life.

It took me little over two hours to reach the Court as I drove at ridiculous speeds, not caring if human speed contraptions caught me. Rose was much more important. It was only when I reached the gates that I realised I was causing a stir as I ran, with guardians staring at me suspiciously. With an anxious thought, I slowed down and made my way to the nearest bathroom. What I saw shocked me to my core.

Staring back at me wasn't a dark haired, brown eyed man. My skin was pale like a Moroi, and my hair fair and shaggy. Green eyes stared back at me from a narrow, chiselled face, and I was slightly shorter and leaner than my usual six foot seven frame. I was still fit and muscular, but clearly I no longer resembled myself in the slightest. Checking my surroundings, I slid the ring off my finger. My reflection blurred for a moment before I saw myself again, and I breathed a sigh of relief. The ring really did work with no adverse effects- to my amazement, the witch had been right. I was in a state of disbelief- I had thought she was a phoney.

Sliding it back on, I walked from the bathroom as fast as I could without drawing attention to myself. I was Moroi in this body which blended me in, as new people arrived at Court on a daily basis. I pulled my phone from my pocket and sent Vasilisa a message as I hurried down the marble corridors- my excuse for leaving had been that I had to pick up some supplies for my training, and I let her know now I would return late. Lying had never been something I had been proud of, but something told me that I would want to keep this identity a secret.

I grew more and more confident as I traipsed the distance to the west wing, laughing silently to myself as I passed guardians I knew, even passing Alberta whose eyes slid right past me. After being recognisable all my life, the feeling of being unknown was amazing; I didn't have to pretend. I ran up a flight of stairs and also realised that my physical capabilities hadn't deserted me; I felt fresh and light. It was on the fifth floor that I began knocking on doors, pretending I was lost and looking for my rooms. I discovered to my horror that my accent was French and my voice airy, but at least I could speak the language. Any deserted rooms I came across I unlocked- for the first time, I was glad I was the Queen's guardian and had access to every room. My worry grew with each empty space I saw; as I worked my way through the halls, Rose was dying.

It took me nearly forty minutes, but when I came across room 672, unassuming and ordinary, my heart began to thump in my chest. There was a weight behind the door, and I had a strange feeling I knew what that was.

"Hello?" I called, blood pumping through my veins. The moment of truth for my disguise was about to be tested.

"Is anybody in there?"

I shoved open the door and the weight slid forward easily, but I coughed when the smell of the room hit me. Death was everywhere.

"Oh no," I hissed when I stepped inside.

Rose was lying on the floor in a pool of blood, her eyes closed and face deathly pale. Her arms were bathed in blood as she held them protectively over her stomach, her body curled around the wound.

"Damn," I cursed, before catching myself. If this was going to work, she couldn't know who I was.

"Wake up," I told her as gently as I would a stranger, kneeling beside her and lifting her head onto my lap. With my left hand I pulled my phone out and turned off called ID, dialling the guardian number used for emergencies at the Court.

"Sia. What can I help you with?" The voice answered straight away and I swore. Sia, of all people. The woman was a stickler for propriety and tradition, and made everything more difficult than it needed to be.

"Yes, hello. I have found a young girl unconscious and bleeding on the sixth floor of the west wing, room 672. Can you please send help fast? She is dying."

I hung up the phone without waiting for a reply, turning my attention to Rose. She was stirring faintly, and I stroked her face gently.

"No," she told me audibly, opening her empty eyes.

"Shush," I told her. It hurt me to treat her as a stranger would, but I didn't see any other choice. "You are injured. I have called for help." I looked into her eyes, trying to fathom them, but all I saw was pain and defeat. I felt my heart wrench, for the first time making me realise what I had done by giving up on her.

"No," she told me again, trying to raise herself to look at me. She failed and collapsed back into me, and I caught her head gently, stroking her hair to calm her.

"Don't let them get me," she pleaded with me, breaking my heart. "Don't let them touch me. Please, take me out of here."

"I can't," I told her softly. "You will die."

"Then let me!" she hissed at me viciously, tears flowing from her eyes. "Let me die!"

I held her down as she struggled, trying to keep pressure on her wound. After three days it still hadn't clotted, and was slowly leaking blood. She tried to fight me but I easily overpowered her, ignoring her attempts to hurt me with spirit and take away my senses. She was so weak that I could feel her mind working against me; it hardened me against her attacks, but also let me know that she didn't recognise me in the slightest. That cheered me slightly; if Rose survived, I would have a new chance with her, a new person for her to learn to trust. I refused to think about where it would lead to; if she was willing to die instead of face me, instead of face Lissa, then she must be thoroughly miserable. This wasn't my Rose; this was a stranger.

After what seemed like an eternity, I heard voices from down the hall. One of them was instantly recognisable; Christian Ozera, arguing loudly with another guardian. We were all trained medics, but Ozera had clearly been waiting for any news on Rose. As much as I hated him for holding her love, I was grateful to him. Without him, Rose would probably have died long ago. Another recognisable voice was that of Dr. Olendzki- I was so glad to hear her voice that I nearly cried. I knew she was fond of Rose and would treat her with respect and fairness.

"Oh my god, Rose!" Ozera cried when he first caught sight of her. I could see that his hair was wild and his eyes red-rimmed; he clearly hadn't slept in days. He launched himself towards her, but was caught by a burly guardian who went simply by the name of Ray. Ray was short but bulky with arms twice as thick as my own. "Easy son," he said to Christian now. "If you move her, you might hurt her more. Best leave her to Olendzki."

Olendzki, as it was, happened to already be leaning over Rose.

"Oh Hathaway, what have you done this time?" she asked in exasperation, and I had to stifle a small smile. Rose and the doctor had history, and it had always been a source of amusement for me at how the dynamics between them operated.

"Pass her here," the doctor told me, reaching over with her small hands. I obliged, not at all upset by the fact the doctor hadn't acknowledged my presence. She was clearly focussed on Rose, and I was a nobody. I quietly stood as Olendzki began working on her, and softly left the room.

"Hey," Christian said, grabbing hold of me as I came into his line of sight. He looked half crazed, and very upset.

"I don't know who you are, but how did you find her? And who are you?"

I wanted nothing more than to smack Christian in the face, but I refrained. I had to build some trust with him if I ever wanted to get close to Rose again.

"My name is Lukas, Lukas Mercier." I told him. They were two of the most popular names in France; I couldn't go wrong. "I was looking for my room and got lost; the door was open and when I entered, I found her lying on the floor. Who is she?" I asked innocently, my hands still coated with her blood.

"Her name is Rose," Ozera told me, running his hands through his long dark hair. For the first time, I felt sorry for him. He looked wretched. "She's very important to me." He turned to face me again.

"Thank you for finding her," he told me, grasping my hands despite the blood.

"I just hope she survives," I told him truthfully, feeling a knot form inside my heart. Living through her death twice would be too much for me to bear.

It was much later that, still disguised as Lukas, I sat in the waiting room of the Court medical bay. I was so glad that when Lissa had become Queen she had requested Olendzki's transfer to Court. The woman was a god. Christian sat next to me, his head in his hands. He hadn't left the seat since Rose had been transported here and still he sat, waiting for any news. Several times he almost appeared to doze off, but always caught himself. I had to admire his resilience; it couldn't have been easy for him to stay awake in the warm room, when the rest of the palace was sleeping.

"Christian." Olendzki was standing in the doorway to Rose's room, a grim expression on her hard face. "She's sleeping. Would you like to see her?"

"Yes!" Ozera was up before she had finished speaking, all but leaping into the room. I too began to rise, but stopped myself. I was a stranger to Rose looking like this; my presence wouldn't be welcome.

The doctor was looking at me curiously.

"You were the one who found her?" She asked me, pushing a strand of fair hair behind her ear.

"Yes," I told her, internally wincing at my new tone. "Will she be okay?"

She studied me for several moments, and I almost shifted uncomfortably under her gaze. Her eyes pierced right through me.

"Yes," she finally conceded. "Rose will survive. You found her just in time; she had lost a lot of blood."

"Rose?" I asked, trying to appear perplexed. "Is that Rose Hathaway? The rogue who killed Queen Tatiana?"

"Get out." Olendzki turned her back on me, becoming emotionless. "Hathaway did no such thing. Get out."

I rose to my feet, strangely pleased. At least Rose had one person in her corner.

"I'm sorry ma'am," I told her. "For what it's worth, I don't think she killed anybody. She didn't seem like that kind of person to me."

I had a lot to think about as I slid the jewellery off outside the hospital, but more than anything I felt an overwhelming sense of relief. Rose was alive, and better yet she didn't recognise me. Not only did it open up a new opportunity for me, but it gave me a second chance to make things right. As myself, I knew I would never be able to get close to Rose, but as Lukas I might be able to.

"Dimka!"

I sighed to myself as I entered my own apartment. I lived close to Vasilisa in the royal wing, my rooms spacious yet sparse. I didn't like living in the abundant luxury of the Court, however the woman whom I was unfortunate enough to be stuck with did.

"Dimitri, where have you been!"

The years hadn't been kind to Natasha Ozera. Now thirty, she had lost much of the beauty of her youth, and the scars I had always admired her for I now despised. Tasha had turned into a bitter, cruel woman with her possessiveness and jealousy, something which I partly blamed myself for. I had always loved Rose, and Tasha had known it. Her eyes were shrewd and twisted, her mouth constantly puckered into a hard line. I hated her, yet felt too guilty to leave her.

The child cowering behind her legs was the only other reason I stayed with her. The Court assumed little Dina was not my child due to the fact I was never seen with Tasha, but that was far from the truth. Dina Belikov was the result of a mistake; one night a year ago when I had been overcome with my own existence and turned to the only available person for comfort. Dina was my angel; at one, she had her mother's ice blue eyes but my dark brown hair. I saw myself in her just as much as Tasha, but it didn't bother me. My daughter was perfect the way she was, despite who her mother was.

Ignoring Tasha, I strode to my daughter and scooped her into my arms, smiling as her delighted giggles filled my ears. She would always come first, but I vowed I would find a way to free her from her mother's clutches. Tasha used our daughter against me, but didn't love her; she even hired a nanny to take care of our daughter whilst I was working. Sometimes I caught myself thinking about how much of a better mother Rose would have made, but always dismissed the idea; Rose could never be a mother to my children.

"Dimka!" Tasha was carrying on behind me, but I dismissed her. I had no words for her; my hatred was stronger than my wish to live peacefully in my own house. Carrying Dina into her room, I shut the door on Natasha's whining voice. As I lay my child into bed I bit back the despair; how could I rescue the woman I loved as well as my daughter, when the reason for one was the reason I couldn't have the other?

* * *

Well, that was way too much of a challenge. Depending how my finger is, it might take me a little while to get the next chapter out, but I'll do my best. Thank you so much for sticking with me; please let me know what you think and review!


	11. Chapter 11

Hey everyone! I won't bother saying sorry about the slow update blah blah blah, I'm so tired I'm falling asleep but I will give you guys another chapter to get you going before I go into an even bigger one. Have fun

I do not own VA.

* * *

Chapter 11- Friends?

"Live another day

Climb a little higher

Find another reason to stay."

-Another Day, Dream Theatre

I awoke to the smell of a hospital, and groaned. My groan wasn't just for the fact I was in a hospital yet again, but for the fact I was here at all. Towards the end I had wanted to die; there hadn't been anything worth living for anymore. I remember being found by a stranger and being carted here, and the voice of the doctor I thought I'd never be treated by again. It all felt like a dream in the haziness of my mind, clouded by the pain and medication. I blinked my eyes once, twice- not because I thought I would see something, but because my eyes were gritty and sore.

I tried to move, to sit up, but the tightness in my chest and stomach knocked the breath out of me. I fell back to the pillows with a moan, my fingers clenching in on themselves. It was then that I realised my hands weren't empty; something large and warm was wrapped around them.

A whisper answered the question before I had time to figure it out.

"Rose," Christian breathed, his body mass rising to hover over mine. He was weak and tired, and even though I wasn't sure how long it had been since I had seen him, I knew I was the reason for his pain. I tried to summon some pity for him but found I couldn't- I was still coldly furious at him.

But why? It was a question I had never had to consider before, but now that I was stuck in a bed with Chris hovering above me; it wasn't one I could avoid. Why was I so angry at him? He had brought a woman into our rooms yes, but there were other rooms we could move into. He had violated my space as well when he brought her in, but I could hardly prevent him from having his own private life, could I? I didn't want to think about it anymore, it was too confusing. The only thing I could put it down to was that I was protective of Christian, but he was an adult with his own life, he didn't have to run everything he did by me.

"Rose," he breathed again, stroking my face gently with the back of his hand. I had never noticed it before, but his hands were soft despite the manner in which they were used. "Thank god you're alive. I thought I'd lost you." He kissed me on the forehead, and I relaxed slightly against my will. "Thank god."

We sat like that for what seemed like hours, he holding my hands in his in silence. It wasn't until a new arrival interrupted us that the spell was broken.

"Well, Hathaway, I'll admit. I thought my days with you were over," my old doctor laughed at me. Dr. Olendzki had treated me through some of my worst days, and I was quite fond of her.

"Maybe I felt nostalgic," I hurled back tartly. This was an old game of ours.

"Nobody ever gave me as much cheek as you," she informed me, her aura light. She was cheerful, and if I wasn't mistaken it was because I was awake.

"Glad to see me again doc?" I asked her, grinning.

"It's been dull in here with no abuse," she said, and I laughed. "Let's take a look at you."

Christian removed his hands from mine and scooted to the side of the room as Olendzki moved to examine me. I winced as she undid the dressings on my stomach, the pull of stitches painful. I still had no idea how long it had been since the Strigoi battle, but it must have been a while if I had needed stitches.

"Hmm, it's healing nicely," Olendzki informed me, redressing the wound. "It wouldn't have been a serious wound if you had have come here straight away."

"I just went for a sleep," I told her irritably. "It wasn't as though it was ages."

"Rose," Christian interrupted quietly. "You were missing for three days."

"What?" I asked him, disbelieving. "I was not."

"You were," he told me. 'And if it wasn't for that Lukas guy, you would be dead right now."

"Damn," I hissed, angry at myself. It hadn't seemed like so long; no wonder I had eventually been found. And then my brain caught up with Christian's words and I grew angry again.

"Wait, that Lukas guy?" I asked. I wanted to punch the guy. "Was he the person who found me?"

"Yes." It was Olendzki who answered me. "From what I've heard, he was looking for his own room but accidentally found yours. He seemed pretty concerned; even waited here until he heard you were alive."

I vowed to find this Lukas dude and beat the shit out of him. "What does he look like?" I asked. I remembered very little from being found.

"Blonde hair, French guy," Christian told me shortly. He seemed angry at the change of subject. "Nothing special."

"Well, that narrows it down," I bit back acerbically. "Because, you know, I can see the blonde haired guys and all."

Olendzki was staring back and forth at us, a smile on her face, when she interrupted.

"Well, Rose, as long as you promise to rest and NOT," she paused, "do anything stupid until the stitches are out, you're free to go."

"Really?" I asked, positive that hell must have frozen over or else she would have never let me leave.

"Yes," she told me. "But you're on bed rest. The wound itself wasn't what did the damage; it was the blood loss. Let yourself heal."

Christian left while I slowly dressed myself. I felt weak; incredibly so, and it wasn't a feeling I was used to. The pain from my stomach did hurt, but it was hardly the worst I had received. I'd be back in the gym by tomorrow.

"Come on Rose," Christian said softly as I opened the door. I could feel his guilt, but it did little to mollify me. "Let's get you home."

"What?" I asked him, halting. I saw red. "Home? And where would that be?"

"Our rooms," he hedged uncomfortably.

I snorted. "I'd rather return to the room I nearly died in than return to that place," I hissed venomously.

"Rose, we don't have anywhere else," he muttered.

"Well I'll damn well find another place then!" I yelled, storming in the other direction.

It wasn't long before Christian was beside me again, exasperation now evident in his aura. "Rose, be reasonable," he told me. "It's not as though I killed your best friend in there."

"No," I spat. "Instead you brought a whore."

"ROSE!" He roared, still following me. "Where are you going to stay? You can't be on your own at the moment!"

"Yes, I can." Ignoring the pain in my stomach, I shoved him back. "Better to be on my own than trusting somebody who doesn't care."

'What are you talking about?" Christian gripped my upper arms and turned me around, despite my protests.

"Of course I care! I would never place you in danger!"

"You did when you let her into our rooms," I told him. "You did when you let somebody know where I sleep."

"Damnit Rose," he whispered. "It wasn't like that."

"Yes it was! I'm not going back to that room!"

"Fine." He finally realised I wasn't going to concede. "I'll get us another room. But please let us go back and get my stuff." I could hear his hands running through his hair, and could smell that he hadn't showered in a while. My heart softened slightly.

"Fine," I echoed.

"Rose, don't you have anything to get?" Christian's voice was soothing as I sat on my bed, resolutely not looking in the direction of his bedroom.

"No," I replied, downcast. "I lost my backpack in the fight."

"Ah."

"Yeah." I was pretty bummed; everything I owned of value except my stake had been in that bag.

"I can replace it," he offered after an awkward silence.

"Some things can't be replaced," I told him with a heavy sigh.

An hour later, against my protests, we were housed in an apartment in the royal wing of the palace. Christian had arranged the rooms; the idea of being so close to Lissa and Dimitri annoyed me however. I was sure this way we would run into them, and it wasn't something that appealed to me.

Chris was asleep in the next room, snoring gently. Although the sounds soothed me, they kept me awake as the sun crept into the room. I tossed and turned, uncomfortable with the wound on my stomach and highly strung. Countless fruitless minutes later, I climbed from the bed and pulled on my gym clothes. Christian would kill me if he found out, but I was never going to sleep.

Checking the cracks in the door before I entered the hallway, I tripped lightly through the corridor. It was deserted; the high and mighty of the Court had all retired to bed. In my exhaustion however, I didn't notice the hidden aura in the apartment three doors from my own, awake and aware.

The gym was, understandably, deserted. I knew I had to be careful to avoid reinjuring myself, but I needed to vent some frustration. Taking a pair of boxing gloves, I began to hit a bag slowly, picking up the pace as my body adjusted to the groan of my wounds. I had fought with much worse before; I wasn't going to go soft over stitches. I didn't notice the opening of the door behind me however, or the deceitful presence enter the room. I focussed all my energy on hitting the bag in front of me, feeling the burn in my arms.

It wasn't until minutes later, sweating, that I noticed the other figure. Yelling, I swang my fist towards them, intent on pummelling them, but my arm hit nothing but air.

Whoever the person was, they were fast- very fast. Sinking into a crouch, I studied the aura of their energy closely. It was one I recognised at the back of my mind, but couldn't place my finger on. Fear, shame and embarrassment were all evident, but so were excitement and enjoyment. Huh. I also registered that the aura belonged to a male, before an airy voice interrupted my reverie.

"Easy." French, by the sound of it. "I didn't mean to startle you."

"Bull," I told the figure, raising my fist threateningly. There was no way somebody in the Court hadn't heard of me in one way or another. "What are you doing watching me?"

"I couldn't sleep," the man told me. He didn't appear threatening at all, but I didn't relax my guard. I had no idea who he was, but anybody who could sneak up on me was somebody I was wary of. "I couldn't sleep so I decided to come down here."

"A Moroi, in a gym?" I scoffed. I was getting a better grasp of his aura now. "Yeah right. What's the real reason you're here?"

"I told you," he repeated, his sing-song voice even. "I like to come here when I can't sleep."

"Fine, keep your secrets, I don't care." I knew he was lying about at least part of the reason he was here, but I really didn't care. "You can go now."

"As far as I was aware, this was a public place," he said loftily. I froze, turning towards him.

"And just who do you think you are?" I asked icily. It wasn't very often anybody had the nerve to talk back to me, and I found I didn't like it.

"My name is Lukas, Lukas Mercier," he told me.

WHAM.

Caught off guard, Lukas hadn't been fast enough to avoid my flying fist this time. His body went slinging through the air as I hit him, the crunch of his nose under my fists mildly satisfying.

"What was that for!?" He roared at me, angry waves rolling off him.

I nonchalantly shrugged my shoulders, rubbing my hand. The guy had a hard head.

"I promised myself I would smash you for keeping me alive," I informed him, a small smile forming on my face.

"Jesus woman, a thank you would have sufficed," he groaned, cracking his nose back into place. I was surprised; for a Moroi, he was surprisingly tough- almost as tough as Christian was.

"I didn't want to be rescued," I told him coldly. "There is nothing to thank you for."

"Well then," Lukas grunted, lifting himself to his feet. "I guess we got off on the wrong foot." He held out a hand that I knew was still bloody, extending it towards me. "I'm Lukas Mercier. New to Court."

I couldn't stare at his outstretched hand, but he didn't know that. I faked stared instead, hoping he would drop it, but he didn't. After several minutes of this, my curiosity got the better of me. Any person who could stand there for that long in front of me after I had decked them was somebody I could use.

"Rose Hathaway," I told him, my smaller hand touching his.

I almost couldn't explain the sensation I felt when our skin met. It wasn't like a bolt of electricity I felt whenever Dimitri and I had touched, but it was a warm tingle, as though we were old friends meeting once more. I withdrew my hand quickly, unsettled. This man was a stranger to me, and even though he had saved my life, I had no attachment to him.

"Well, the infamous Hathaway," the Frenchman said lightly. I tensed, on edge. "Relax. If I honestly thought you were a murderer, do you think I would have saved your life?"

His words struck me.

"So you did know who I was!" I yelled, advancing on him. "Why did you not kill me?"

He paused for a second under my furious stare, tongue tied.

"I guess I didn't believe what everybody was saying," he told me. For the first time ever, I couldn't read if somebody was lying to me or not; his aura was almost a mystery. I was intrigued.

"Why not?" I asked, almost against my will.

"I make a point to find out the truth for myself before I make a judgement," he said. "And, lying there, well, you didn't exactly look like the cold-blooded witch the Court makes you out to be."

"Thanks, I guess," I replied uncertainly. I wasn't sure what to make of this man.

"You're welcome."

I turned my back to him, deciding for now that he was mostly harmless. If he had been willing to save my life, I doubt he was going to try and kill me now.

"Rose, may I call you that?" He asked tentatively. I almost told him no, but decided against it.

"Sure," I muttered.

"Well Rose," he repeated, "Can I ask a question?"

"Whatever," I muttered again.

"Why did you want to die so badly?"

The words hung in the air, forming a barrier between us. I, for the first time in a long time, found myself stuck for words.

Why had I wanted to die? I had so much left I had to do before I died; I had Christian who I had promised to help get his revenge, I had to prove to the Court that Moroi were capable of fighting, and I didn't want to die as a wanted woman. So what had pushed me to that extreme? It wasn't my sight or my scars; I had come to terms with those long ago. It wasn't my life either; I was used to being shunned after two years of it. No, it all came down to the people that deep in my heart I had hoped would always protect me, always look out for me. Lissa and Dimitri with their lack of love, Christian with his lack of care.

I flinched from my feelings as I had always done, locking them away. It didn't matter what I felt; there were greater things at stake.

"I don't know," I told him, looking away. Who was he anyway to be asking me these kinds of questions? I swang my fists again into the punching bag, pummelling it beneath my hands. "Why do you want to know?"

"I guess," he said, "that I want to help you."

"Don't." I said shortly, in between swings. "You don't want to help me."

"Why?"

"Because I'm poison!" I yelled, slamming my fists again. "Because everybody who ever says they want to help either leaves or ends up dead!"

There was silence- a long silence.

"Then they're either stupid or soulless, because I can't see how anybody could give up on you," he told me eventually. I didn't speak again, just continued punching, and when I finally stopped I realised his presence was gone.

Sagging into the wall, I put my head into my hands. What was about Lukas that seemed so goddamn familiar? How was it that I was able to tell him things I wouldn't even admit to myself? As I began the slow trudge back to my unfamiliar room, I lost myself in my thoughts. How could he trust me so much already? What was it he saw that I myself couldn't?

The questions kept plaguing me as I lay down on my soft bed silently. I knew my body needed rest, but the question of Lukas kept plaguing me. There was something about him that I was drawn to, and it wasn't just his abnormal strength for a Moroi. I vowed to find out what it was as I drifted off into a deep sleep, feeling more at ease with myself than I had in a long while.

* * *

So, what do you think? Things are patchy with Christian and Rose is feeling alone; will Dimitri, posing as another man, be able to break into Rose's heart? What will happen if he does? And better yet, what will Christian do? With the Strigoi still lurking, my next chapter is going to be a big one. Have fun, and please review!


End file.
